


Map Of Your Head

by ladyxa



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Soul Bond, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-11 01:42:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 33,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyxa/pseuds/ladyxa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Castiel is hurt, Dean gets to see something much too personal. He saw something he was never supposed to have seen and it accidentally links them together forever. It might even cost Dean his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone. So this is my first ever multi-chaptered Destiel fanfic, and it's also the very first thing I've ever posted on this site. I want to apologise in advance for the first few chapters being so short, the chapters increase in size. I just want to see how well this fic is going to go down. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

"Damn it, Cas!"

Dean quickly swallowed the rest of his rant as the angel whom had just appeared in front of him, collapsed on the spot.

"What the-"

"Dean.."

The hunter kneeled down next to the angel, grabbing his shoulders in a fit of panic. "Cas, what the hell is going on? Say something!"

There was blood dripping out of Castiel's nose, and blood oozing from the middle of his chest. His coat and shirt were completely stained. There was a faint sheen of sweat on Cas' forehead.

He looked up at Dean in a daze.

"That's it," Dean muttered.

He scooped Cas up, the only reason he could do this being that the angel was apparently drained of mojo, and lay him gently on his motel bed. Cas groaned, closing his eyes. Suddenly, Dean felt himself being thrown backwards, smacking against the wall with a thud. The light-bulbs cracked and shattered, leaving the room in total darkness. Dean blinked, his eyes quickly adjusting to the dark, when there was a flash, making the hunter cover up his eyes. When the white light behind his hands had faded, he slowly lowered them. What he saw took his breath away.

Castiel was still lying on the bed with his eyes closed, but a light was surrounding him. Long, dark shadows were stretched over the bed and the floor, until Dean realised they weren't shadows. They were Cas' wings. The first thing Dean noticed was how huge they were. They filled almost half the room. The second thing Dean noticed was how beautiful they were. Hundreds of shiny, black-blue feathers, fluffier at the base and growing more slim and long at the tips. The light surrounding Cas reflected slightly on the wings, causing them to shimmer.

Dean couldn't stop staring, his jaw on the ground. He noticed the feathers were slightly ruffled, and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to walk over, run his hands gently over them and straighten them. He was too shocked to even move, though. The wings gave a tiny flutter, causing Dean to jump, and then they disappeared again. The room was pitch black, with the hunter still pressed against the wall, his mouth gaping.

That's how Sam found him when he walked inside the door.

"Dude, I've got the grub-" he stopped mid-sentence. "What the fuck?!"

He ran over to Dean, not having spotted Cas yet. He pulled his trembling brother up, checking him to make sure he was okay.

"Dean, are you all right?" he demanded.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," Dean muttered, absent-mindedly pushing Sam away.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, bewildered.

"You got a flash-light or something?"

Sam nodded, reaching into his pockets and pulling out a torch. "What's going on, man?"

Dean shook his head, taking the torch. "I have no freakin' clue."

He shone the light onto his bed, heaving a huge sigh of relief when Cas was still lying there, his eyes closed.

"Holy crap! What happened to him?"

"I don't know, Sammy. He just appeared and then.. he collapsed," Dean exclaimed, running a hand through his hair as he stared at the angel.

Sam leaned forward, lifting Cas' shirt up to reveal the gaping hole in his chest. "Jesus Christ," he muttered.

"Sammy, he's gonna be okay, right?" Dean asked desperately.

Sam swallowed. "What happened that made all the lights go out?"

Dean didn't reply for a while. "I.. I'm not sure. The room lit up, I think it was his Grace."

He wasn't sure what had made him keep quiet about the wing part, but he was glad he hadn't blabbed.

"Okay. First, we need to get some light in here. I'll go down and tell the receptionist that our power's gone or something, and get some candles or whatever. Don't move," Sam ordered, and he left.

When Sam had left, Dean leaned over the angel, searching his face.

"Cas? Can you hear me, man?"

Nothing. Not even a twitch.

"Castiel, I fucking swear, if you die on me I'm going.. I'm gonna.." Dean didn't know how to finish his sentence, so he didn't.

Cas' eyelids fluttered, and the hunter laughed in relief. "Cas!"

"I'm not going to die, Dean," the angel murmured. "I need to rest and heal."

"Sure, 'course.. uhh.. anything we can do?"

"No," Cas answered shortly, before closing his eyes again.

Dean stared at him for a while. "Right. Yeah. Okay."

A few moments later Sam returned with a couple of lightbulbs, replacing the shattered remains of the old ones and switching the lights back on.

"Cas says he's all right. He just needs to rest and heal."

Sam frowned. "When the hell did he say that?"

"Just now. Look, Sam, I don't know 'bout you, but I could use a good night's sleep right now. I've had enough weirdness for one night," Dean exclaimed, glancing at Cas.

"Yeah. Tomorrow we can find out what the fuck happened to Cas. Right now, we all just need to rest," Sam agreed.

Dean grabbed extra blankets from under the bed, and made his way to the couch. They both threw a last, worried glance at Castiel before switching the light off and trying to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback! Please enjoy.

Dean groaned, rubbing his eyes as he tried to wake up properly. The room was quiet, save for Sam's light snores. He opened his eyes, blinking slowly. Wait, why was he lying on the couch..? He jumped up.

"Shit! Cas?"

"I'm right here."

Dean spun around to see Castiel standing by the window, staring outside. He rushed towards him.

"Hey, man! How are you feeling?" he asked, putting a hand on Cas' arm.

To his surprise, the angel moved away from the touch. "I'm fine, Dean."

Dean stared at him in confusion as Cas avoided his eyes. "Dude, what the-"

"Cas?"

Sam had apparently woken up after Dean's yell. "How are you, man?"

As Sam also neared them, Cas started to back away, looking uncomfortable.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Dean demanded, staring at him incredulously.

Sam frowned, looking from one to the other. "Am I missing something here? What the hell happened to you yesterday?"

Cas turned to him solemnly. "The war in Heaven is worse than ever. It is claiming more lives than anyone could have imagined."

"One of your brothers did this to you?" Sam asked, shocked.

Cas nodded. "He reached inside my chest and tried to rip out my grace. He almost succeeded, but he lost focus for one single moment. I managed to escape in that small moment. I was very lucky."

"That's why it took you such a long time to heal," Dean remarked, glancing at Cas' still blood-stained clothes and coat.

"Yes," Cas answered shortly.

It hadn't escaped Dean that the angel hadn't looked him in the eyes once.

"So now what? Are you going back?" Sam asked.

"I.. I don't know. It doesn't seem like the most clever thing to do since I am still very weak. I wouldn't be of any use in a battle right now," Cas answered doubtfully.

"Good. I think you should stay for a while," Dean said loudly.

Sam and Cas turned to him in surprise. Yeah, that got your attention.

"Dean, you know I have business to attend to in Heaven," Cas said coolly, although Dean could detect a hint of confusion in his eyes.

"Yeah well, too bad for them. You almost got killed last night and I'll be fucked if I'm letting you go back any time soon," the eldest Winchester answered firmly.

"You do realise that you don't have any control over my staying or leaving, I could just leave when you aren't paying attention or when you're asleep -"

"Damn it Cas, you know what I mean," Dean snarled.

"I think Dean's right, Cas. I think you should take some time off, rest for a while," Sam butted in.

"See? It's a good idea," Dean exclaimed.

Cas looked from one Winchester to the other, his gaze lingering on one for a moment before settling on his shoes.

"I think.. you might be right," he then admitted.

"So you'll stay?" Dean pushed on.

"I'll stay."

"Good. You could help us hunt," Sam suggested, walking towards the bathroom and running his hand through his hair sleepily.

Now that the drama was over, he realised how tired he was. He decided a nice, long shower would help that.

Dean and Cas were left alone in the room. Cas turned away, walking the opposite direction of where Dean was standing.

"I don't know how much use I will be if I am to help you during your cases. I am weakened and not in full capability of my powers," he said quietly, still looking everywhere but Dean.

"That's okay, Cas. I'll – we'll teach you how to use weapons."

Cas nodded. Dean could only see the back of his head.

"Right, that's it. What the fuck is up with you, dude?" Dean snapped, not being able to take it any longer. "What the hell did I do?"

He saw Cas tense. "Nothing," the angel answered shortly.

"Yeah, spare me the crap. You're acting freakin' weird, man."

The hunter walked towards Cas, putting a hand on his shoulder. The angel tensed even more.

"Look at me, Cas," Dean urged.

After a while, Cas turned around slowly. His face was unreadable.

"What did I do, huh? Cut me some slack, dude. I'm not even awake for ten minutes and I've got a pissed angel in my motel room. Not to mention what happened yesterday, which I still don't fucking understand -"

Cas hissed slightly and suddenly he was standing a few feet away, glaring at the hunter. Dean froze in surprise, just staring.

"Cas, what the hell! You'd better start fuckin' explaining to me what your problem is!" Dean exclaimed, staring at the furious – and red? - angel in disbelief.

"Sometimes, Dean," Castiel growled, "you are so incredibly dense."

And with those last words, he was gone. Fucker's been spending way too much time with Sammy.

Really though, what the fuck? Something at the back of his mind told him that it probably had something to do with last night. Was it because Dean had seen Cas weak and hurt? He really had no clue.

"Hey, where's Cas?" asked Sam, fresh out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Well, apparently he still has enough mojo left to zap himself around," Dean answered vaguely.

Sam narrowed his eyes at him for a moment, then shrugged.

A few hours later, they were sitting at the local diner, having breakfast as Sam was typing away on his laptop.

"Dude, I think I've got a case," he said after Dean was done chatting up the waitress.

"Huh?" Dean said absent-mindedly, staring not-so-subtly at the waitress' behind.

"Dean!" Sam said, annoyed.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm listening. What is it?" Dean asked in defeat.

"So get this. Two weeks ago, this kid Chris Miller, five years old, went missing -"

"So?" Dean interrupted, already wanting to focus on the hot waitress again.

"So," Sam continued, annoyed. "He disappeared completely. No trace of him. While holding his mother's hand."

Dean finally glanced back up at Sam, who raised an eyebrow triumphantly.

"Shut up," the eldest Winchester muttered, grabbing the laptop and pulling it towards him.

"Five years ago, on exactly the same date, Emma James, four years old, went missing as well. She just vanished while sitting on her dad's lap. Five years before that, Lily Tyson. Six years old, disappeared while kissing her mother good night. You sensing a pattern here?" Sam said, taking a gulp of his coffee.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, sounds weird. We should check it out."

"Uh.." Sam hesitated, taking another gulp of coffee. "Is Cas coming?"

Dean's jaw tensed. "How the hell should I know, the bastard flew off himself -"

"I'm right here."

The brothers jumped as the angel suddenly appeared next to Sam.

"Damn it, Cas!" Dean hissed, ignoring the stares of the people around them.

"We've got a case. You coming?" Sam asked, getting right to the point.

Cas nodded.

"All right, good. We can leave as soon as we're done here," Sam said uncomfortably, sensing the extreme coolness between the two others.

"Where did you go, anyway?" Dean asked gruffly.

"That's none of your concern," Cas replied, still not looking at him.

"Guys.." Sam groaned. "What the hell is going on now-"

"That's it, I am sick of your attitude. You can just stay away until you start acting normal again, because right now, I don't fucking want you near me," Dean snapped then, standing up and leaving the diner.

Cas stared at the direction the hunter had walked off in for a long time.

"Awkward.." Sam muttered. "Uh.. you okay?"

Castiel nodded.

"Mind telling me what that was all about?" Sam tried.

Cas gave him a look that told him yes, he did mind.

"Right.. hey man, don't take this as a reason to leave. Dean can say whatever, but he wants you around. So do I. So just.. don't worry 'bout it."

Castiel stared at the door Dean had just left through, sighing. "Not worrying is impossible."

"Well, I don't know what happened, but you two need to be grown ups for once, dude. Talk to him," Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I gotta tell you, if you two are going to be fighting like an old married couple the entire time, I'm not sure I want to be there."

Cas didn't reply.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I'd really appreciate it if you could let me know what you think, your opinions would mean the world to me! Enjoy (and like I said before, the chapters really do become longer).

The atmosphere in the car was icy, to say the least. Sam had taken his usual position, riding shotgun, and Cas was sitting in the back. Dean was driving, of course, his jaw set as he for once kept his eyes on the road.

Cas was staring out of the window as if he were in some kind of dramatic scene from a TV show. The whole thing looked kind of comical, really, if it weren't for the fact that Sam was right in the fucking middle of it. He cleared his throat.

"Hey, wanna put some music on?" he suggested to Dean, who shrugged.

Sam chose his next steps carefully. He knew it would be fatal if he put his own music into the machine, so he decided to put on some AC/DC. That could never go wrong with Dean. And sure enough, after a few moments of Back in Black, the eldest Winchester started drumming on the steering wheel, mouthing along the words.

After a few more moments he was 'singing' along loudly.

Sam sighed. He didn't know what was worse, this or the car basically freezing over.

"I don't understand why I need to be here. I could just fly-"

"Cas, we've already talked about this," Sam groaned. "For one, we don't know how damaged your mojo is. And secondly, if you're hunting with us, we should stick together."

"But I'd really rather not stay in the car with those sounds coming from it."

Dean abruptly stopped singing. "Then leave."

"All right, that's it. Dean, pull over at that tank station," Sam ordered.

Dean just frowned, not obliging.

"Dean, pull the fuck over!"

He jumped, quickly driving to the petrol station and parking the car. Sam leaned sideways so that he could look at both Dean and Cas.

"I am going for a walk. When I get back you two'd better be behaving normally towards each other, or there'll be Hell to pay," the youngest Winchester snapped.

Dean bit his tongue to keep from pointing out the irony in that sentence. Sam glared at them both one last time before throwing the door open and getting out of the car. An awkward silence followed. Dean cleared his throat.

"What does Sam want us to do?" Cas asked then.

Dean looked at him through the mirror. The angel was staring at the hands on his lap. He looked so dejected that the hunter felt his anger melting. Sighing, he turned around.

"Cas, what's going on, man?" he asked gently. "You seem real freakin' upset about something."

Cas didn't look up, though his face actually seemed to redden slightly.

"Cas?" Dean tried again.

Still, no answer. Sighing, he opened the car door. Castiel looked up, startled. Slight hurt covered his expression which quickly melted into nervousness as Dean opened the door to the seat next to him.

"Castiel."

The angel glanced up from hearing his real name coming from Dean's lips. The latter put his hand on Cas' shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

Cas finally opened his mouth, blushing furiously for some reason. "Dean, I.. I can't tell you.."

"Why not, huh? C'mon dude, you know you can trust me," Dean urged.

Cas' blue eyes met Dean's green ones, and he took a deep breath. "I.. I'll tell you when we arrive at the motel. I do not wish to talk about this inside a car."

Dean stared at Cas for a while before nodding. "Fine by me. Hey, and let's do Sam and ourselves a favour and just pretend like nothing's happened, all right? I don't know about you, but I was getting kind of sick of the hostility."

The angel nodded in agreement. "I don't like it when you're so unfriendly towards me," he admitted quietly.

Dean wasn't sure what to say. "Yeah, well uhh.. same here. Let's just.. not be unfriendly towards each other any more, okay?"

"Okay."

The hunter nodded to himself, for a moment not being sure what to do with himself. He cleared his throat, and patted Cas' knee before opening the door again. He sat down in the driver's seat, feeling his face heat up from the awkwardness. Where the fuck was that long-haired moose when you needed him..

A few more minutes of torturing awkward silence before Sam finally threw open the car door, making both Cas and Dean jump.

"You two done with your tantrums?" Sam asked sternly.

Dean glared at his brother. "You just shut up and mind your own business."

"Whatever, man. As long as you keep it between yourselves," Sam said tiredly, running a hand through his hair.

No one replied. After a few seconds they were back on the road. It was quiet again, but it wasn't the same silence as before. Sam could at least relax now. He closed his eyes, feeling himself drift off.

Meanwhile, Dean threw a glance at Cas through the mirror. The angel was staring woefully out of the window again, causing Dean to sigh.

"Want to pick the music, Cas?"

Castiel jumped up, startled at being pulled from his train of thought. "Erm.. no, thank you."

Dean hadn't expected much different. "All right."

He tried a different tactic. "So.. what do you think we're dealing with?"

Cas looked at him questioningly, tilting his head.

"Y'know, the case."

"Oh. I'm not sure."

The eldest Winchester suppressed another sigh, accepting that a conversation was just not happening.

"Dean?"

"Yeah."

"What.. what if my grace isn't fully healed yet when we encounter whatever this creature is?"

"Cas, I'm sure your grace will be fine. And if not, it's not a problem. You've got the best teachers in the world with you." Dean glanced at his sleeping little brother, satisfied to see that he hadn't twitched a muscle during the conversation.

"I just hope that I'll still be able to protect you and Sam," Cas said quietly.

Dean looked back at Cas for a moment. "That's not all you're here for. You're not our bodyguard, Cas."

Cas didn't reply.

"Anyway, whatever the hell that thing is, it better not give us a hard time. That's the last thing I fucking need," the hunter muttered, more to himself than to anyone else.

He started when Sam shifted next to him, stretching loudly before asking, "Anyone hungry?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback! Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy & please tell me what you think!

"A freakin' goddess. Are you kidding me?!" Dean snarled, throwing his blood-stained coat over the back of a chair in their motel room.

"I highly doubt that was a joke, Dean," Cas said, panting slightly as he sat down on the edge of one of the beds.

Almost as soon as they'd arrived at the small town, they'd almost been killed. They had visited the cops in their usual FBI outfits.

Eventually, after what had sounded like an extremely easy case to solve, they'd ended up in an old, abandoned factory, where all the children seemed to have gone to before disappearing. Apparently, they were dealing with something way more powerful than a witch or a demon. It had been a goddess. She'd been eating the children, and quite frankly, the Winchesters had no idea how to deal with this one. Luckily, Castiel did. He disappeared, leaving Dean and Sam to deal with the evil bitch on their own. Soon after, he'd returned with a silver stake, and after a lot of fighting, he finally managed to stick it through her chest.

Dean and Cas hadn't even been able to talk, yet.

"Jesus Christ," Sam panted, letting himself fall on the bed.

"You okay, Sammy?"

"I've been better. What about you?"

Dean just grunted, rubbing a hand across his face. "Cas, your healing mojo would really help right about now."

Cas jolted. "Of course."

He leaned over Dean, touching him briefly on the forehead, before doing the same to Sam. They brothers sighed in relief.

"Thanks, Cas," Sam said. "Dean, I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"Pizza," Dean barked, not letting Sam finish.

The younger brother rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Cas, you want anything?" he asked, out of politeness.

"No, thank you," the angel muttered.

He seemed to be growing increasingly tense.

"Um.. all right. I'll see you guys later," Sam shrugged, catching the car keys Dean threw at him.

It was silent for a few minutes after Sam had left. Dean left to the bathroom, cleaning up the remaining blood-stains on his face and hands. He frowned at his clothes, shrugging them off and walking back into the room in only his boxers. Castiel was standing with his back to him. He didn't say a word, just pulled on a pair of jeans.

"You should get some rest," Cas suddenly said quietly, still not turning around to face him.

"Not tired." Which was a complete lie, Dean was absolutely exhausted. But that didn't matter. He walked nonchalantly to a chair, pulling it out and sitting down on it.

"So.." he began. "Now that we don't have a case, or anything else to do at the moment, and Sam's gone, we need to have a chat. Talk to me, Cas."

Castiel took a deep breath, and turned around slowly. He walked up to Dean, sitting in the chair opposite him. The eldest Winchester looked at him expectantly.

"Dean, you've seen my wings," Castiel then murmured, not meeting Dean's eye.

Dean blinked at him, memories of the gorgeous wings filling his mind again. "Yeah?"

"You.. you can't," Cas then said helpfully.

"What?"

The angel made a frustrated sound, standing up and walking away. "No one sees an angel's wings, Dean. Not even other angels. No one, except.." he trailed off.

"Except..?" Dean asked, standing up.

"Except their.. except the angels they are bonded with," Cas finished with a sigh.

"What does that mean?" the hunter asked, frowning.

"It means that now we have to bond," the angel said, sounding tired.

"Wha.. bond like, how?" Dean stuttered, not sure he was liking this.

Cas turned to him, glaring a little. "A proper bond. To be linked together forever."

Dean swallowed at Cas' sudden powerful voice. "Yeah, that's not happening."

"I wish it were that easy," Cas muttered, frowning slightly.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that we don't really have a choice. I've been trying to ignore it, but.. it's too strong." He stepped closer to Dean, causing the latter to step back automatically. "The pull. It's almost unbearable. I thought that maybe, if I acted cold towards you, it would lessen but.. it's only getting stronger."

"Pull? What the fuck are you talking about, Cas?" Dean barked, not liking the way this was heading.

"You're not feeling it yet. Interesting," Cas murmured. "We can't ignore the pull. You've seen.. part of my soul by seeing my wings, and I have left my mark on yours. We are already somewhat bonded. But now, we will have to bond properly. We've got no choice."

"Hell, we've got a fucking choice. It's not my fucking fault I saw your stupid wings, Cas! You should learn to keep your private parts hidden!" Dean snapped. "I haven't felt any kind of.. pull, or whatever, so screw that shit! I'm not bonding with any freakin' angel of the lord any time soon, so you can stick that idea up your ass."

Cas looked at him, his expression a mixture of exasperation and something Dean couldn't identify. "Dean.."

"Fuck off, Cas."

"Believe me, I don't want this to happen either. We can ignore it for now, but sooner or later, it will become unbearable. I'm sorry, Dean."

"This bond.. it's like.. love? Or what?" the hunter asked tensely.

"I believe so. You could perhaps compare it to marriage for humans, except a whole lot more powerful and impossible to take back. It is the most powerful, strong bond that can be made between angels.. or in this case.."

"Is there no way out of this?" Dean then tried, desperate.

"Not that I know of," Cas said quietly.

"Forever," the hunter mused, running a hand through his hair. Suddenly, he seemed to get an idea. "Hey, we can just ignore the pull or whatever, can't we? I mean, I'm not feeling shit right now and apparently it's not too bad for you. We can just pretend like there's nothing going on and move on with our lives?"

The angel looked pained. "As much as I would like that to work, it won't. I'm.. in a lot of pain right now. It's only worse because my grace is damaged. But you.. once you start feeling it, it will become excruciating for you. I'm afraid you'll come running to me," he said softly. He didn't sound happy with it, more regretful.

"Yeah, fuck that. Cas, I don't know if you know me, but I'm the master in repressing shit. This will just be one more thing," Dean growled.

"Dean, it won't work.."

"Fucking watch me. I'm not gonna bond with freakin' anything, god damn it."

"Listen to me -"

"Bite me, Cas."

With that, he walked out of the motel room, slamming the door shut behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback, enjoy & let me know what you think!

"Uhh.. Cas?" a confused Sam uttered when he walked into the motel room.

"Hello, Sam."

Sam put the boxes of pizza down on the table, and looked around the room before raising his eyebrows. "Where's Dean?"

"He.. he left."

"Yeah, I noticed. Could you maybe elaborate, Cas?" Sam said, irritated.

Cas looked up at him. "I don't know where he went. If I were you, I would call him. I doubt he wants to see me."

Sam frowned. "Why? What did you-" He broke off, annoyed as the sound of wings flapping interrupted him, and the angel disappeared.

Sighing, he grabbed his mobile, dialling Dean's number. After about three rings, Dean finally picked up the phone.

"Sammy?"

"Dean! Where the hell are you? Cas said you took off."

"Yeah. I'm at a bar, Sam. At least.. I think it's a bar. It might also be Heaven."

Sam paused. "Dean, are you drunk?"

"No, no, no. No. No.."

"Dean."

"..Yes. But so what? We just finished a case, we deserve some fun, Sammy!" Dean yelled into the phone.

"Um, all right. I'll pass," Sam said with a small chuckle. "The bar's just across the road from the motel, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. At least I'll know where to find you if you're not home tomorrow. Bye, Dean."

"Bye Sammy."

With that, Dean put his phone back into his pocket. "Sorry 'bout that, honey," he winked at the girl sitting across from him.

"No problem, sugar," she replied with a smile.

"So, you were saying?"

"I said.. maybe we could head over to my place, for a little privacy?" she repeated, smirking.

He grinned back at her. "Sure. Let's go."

A weird, nagging feeling was settling in his stomach, but he ignored it. At least, he managed to ignore it right up until they were actually in the girl's – Lola's – house, when he began to be afraid it might be a little issue with his bowels. Now that would just be fucking embarrassing.

He pulled away from kissing her.

"Hey, sweetheart, where's your bathroom?" he asked rather abruptly. She didn't seem to notice, though.

"Down the hall, second door to the right," Lola replied breathlessly.

"I'll be right back," Dean promised, giving her another kiss before leaving the room.

He locked the bathroom door behind him, leaning onto the sink and staring into the mirror. What the hell was wrong with him? Dean took a deep breath, willing the weird pain in his stomach to subside. It felt like a tugging in his gut – and his heart sunk as he realised exactly what it was.

"God damn it, Cas," he hissed.

Why the fuck did the dick have to go and show his wings? Now Dean couldn't even enjoy nice, drunk sex with a nice, drunk girl because he was too busy thinking of how much he wanted to be with a certain angel – a male angel, at that.

No. No, fuck that. He was going in there, and he was going to have him some great sex, and he wasn't going to think of that douchebag.

Dean threw some water into his face before taking another deep breath and leaving the bathroom. He pushed Lola back onto the bed fiercely, kissing her harshly. He'd be damned if he was letting a stupid angel ruin his life.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Dean awoke with a mouthful of soft, dark hair. He groaned a little, before gently pulling himself away and rubbing his eyes. He nearly yelled when he opened them. Standing at the foot of the bed was a certain angel, looking puzzled. He clamped a hand over his mouth, willing his heartbeat and breathing to slow down.

"Cas," he finally hissed. "What the fuck are you doing here?! Fuck off!"

Cas just tilted his head and blinked, and Dean felt that awful twinge in his gut.

"Get out!" he snapped, a bit more loudly, and Lola twitched next to him.

That seemed to shake Cas, and Dean blinked, and he was gone. The hunter glanced down at the sleeping girl. Time for him to do the same.

Half an hour later he was knocking on their motel room door. A tired looking Sam opened it after a while, blinking at him.

"Dude, it's eight thirty. Why the hell did you forget the key?" he muttered, letting Dean step inside.

The latter shrugged. "Forgot. Nice hair."

Sam frowned, and a hand went up to his awfully messed up hair. "Shut up. What're you doing home so early, anyway?"

"I'm gonna go get some breakfast. You want anything?" Dean said, sticking the motel key into his pocket and avoiding his brother's eyes.

"Just a coffee," Sam said warily after a pause, being too tired to even ask.

Dean nodded vaguely, and took a step towards the door before jumping back. Castiel appeared in front of the doorway, startling both of the brothers.

"Cas, you really need to stop doing that!" Sam exclaimed.

"I'm.. sorry," the angel said, not taking his eyes off Dean.

The latter glared at him. "What the hell was that all about, Cas? Huh?"

"I.. don't know."

"You don't fucking know? How can you not know?!" Dean snarled.

Cas bristled, and suddenly he was mere inches away from the hunter, narrowing his eyes at him. "I don't know, Dean! I felt like I was being pulled towards you – I thought you were in danger so I responded. I don't know why it led me to that!" he hissed, backing Dean up against the wall.

The two glared at each other for a while, breathing heavily. He suddenly noticed that Cas' hands were gripping his arms, and he could feel the heat coming from them. Their grip loosened, but Cas didn't let go. He could feel the scar on his arm tingle, and it sent shivers down his spine. Dean's heart was pumping wildly, and he realised with vague shock that it wasn't caused by fear. He swallowed, and licked his lips nervously. Cas' eyes followed every movement his tongue made.

"Uh.. guys? I'm still here," Sam offered hesitantly.

Dean jumped. "So? We weren't-"

"Whatever. I'm going to the bathroom," Sam said, shaking his head as Dean moved away from Cas.

As soon as Sam was inside the bathroom, Cas neared Dean again. "You're feeling it," he said with a low voice.

"Feeling what?" Dean asked stubbornly.

The angel glared at him. "The bond. You're feeling it, Dean. I know you are."

"Can we not have this conversation here?" Dean snapped.

"Fine."

Before the hunter could object, Cas touched his forehead with his fingers. The next moment, they were in a forest, completely alone.

"Wha.. where are we?" Dean asked, startled.

"We are alone. Now, you were saying?"

Dean narrowed his eyes. "You being smart, you son of a bitch?"

Cas didn't reply. To his surprise, Dean cracked a smile.

"You've been walking around with us mud monkeys for too long, Cas."

Cas smiled back. "So I've been told."

They stood in silence for a while, looking at each other. "Dean.."

"Cas, don't say it."

"I know you're feeling it. You're feeling it right now. You can't lie to me, Dean," Castiel said, his voice twinged with sorrow.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I ain't feeling shit. And even if I was, it would be no big deal. Because I'd ignore it, get that? I'd never acknowledge these feelings. And neither should you," the hunter said shortly.

Cas just looked at him sadly. "You can't keep this up. I'm sorry."

"Screw you. You don't know me. You don't know anything about me," Dean hissed. As soon as the words had left his lips, he realised how desperate they sounded, and he immediately regretted saying them. But it was too late.

Castiel's gaze turned from sadness to anger, and a quick flash of hurt that Dean had managed to see before the angel skilfully hid it. He neared him slowly, and Dean felt like he would melt under his glare.

"I rebuilt you. I rebuilt every single cell in that body, every atom, every nerve, vein, muscle, bone, every single hair – need I go on? Do not tell me that I don't know you, Dean Winchester. I know you better than you know yourself. You can not lie to me," he growled, grabbing the lapels of Dean's jacket and shoving him against a nearby tree.

Dean waited for his own heart and Cas to calm down slightly, before saying, "Right. Zap me back."

A muscle in Cas' jaw clenched, but he didn't say a word as he touched Dean's forehead, bringing him back to the motel room. He was alone.

He sat down on the bed with his head in his hands. The scar on his arm was throbbing, his body felt like it was twitching internally. It was fine. This was fine. It wasn't too bad. Nothing he couldn't live with.. endlessly.. for the rest of his life..

"Dean? You all right?" Sam's worried voice pierced through his thoughts, and he jerked up.

"Yeah.. I'm fine," he muttered.

"What the hell's going on between you two? You're being even weirder than before," Sam said with a frown.

"It's nothing, Sam. Drop it," Dean snapped.

His younger brother glared at him. "If you don't tell me, I'll just ask Cas."

"He won't tell you."

"Really? All right, if you're so sure about it, fine. I'll just pray for him now."

"No!" Dean exclaimed.

Sam raised his eyebrows triumphantly. "So?"

The eldest Winchester sighed heavily. "Damn it, Sam."

"What's wrong?" Sam then asked quietly.

Dean took a long time before replying. "You remember that night when Cas was all beat up and shit? And then all the lights went out?"

Sam nodded curiously.

"I saw.. I saw his wings. And I wasn't supposed to. Apparently, no one's allowed to see an angel's wings except.."

"Except what?"

"Except.. the angel's they're bonded with," Dean mumbled.

Sam was silent for a moment. "So you mean like their mates?" he then sniggered.

"Shut the fuck up, Sam! And I wasn't fucking done. He said it was something like.. I've seen some of his soul by seeing his wings, and he left a mark on mine. We.. I have to.. we're.." Dean couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"You have to bond," Sam finished for him.

The hunter bowed his head, sighing in defeat.

"Aw, you're blushing," the youngest Winchester smirked.

Dean jumped up and Sam dodged the punch coming towards his eye. "You son of a bitch!"

"Whoa, calm down! I was just kidding!" Sam yelled, trying to keep his laughter under control.

"I'll kill you!" Dean snarled, lunging for his brother.

"Okay, okay! Jesus Christ, Dean. You're obviously sensitive about this shit. I'm sorry," Sam offered, raising his hands.

Dean glared at him, and Sam decided it was safer to keep some distance between them for the moment.

"There's no way to undo this?" he asked.

Dean sighed again, the anger seeming to drain out of him. "Cas doesn't think so. There's this.. feeling in the pit of my stomach, like.. all twitchy. I.. I think that's gonna transform into pain soon, Sammy. Being away from that son of a bitch is actually going to put me in pain. And my fucking scar keeps throbbing. I hate that dick."

Now that it was all out, he realised how good it felt to finally vent. Sam looked at him, now in pity.

"Well, it explains a lot. But hey, you said Cas didn't know for sure there wasn't a cure, right?"

Dean nodded.

"That doesn't mean there isn't one. We'll find it, don't worry. I'll call Bobby to help us-"

"You are not telling Bobby shit!" Dean yelled, panicking.

"All right, so we'll do it," Sam replied calmly. "There's gotta be some kind of cure. We'll fix this, Dean."

"Thanks, Sammy."

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Castiel listened to the brothers' conversation, hidden from their sight. He was furious with Dean, and the things he was saying were only making that worse. He was.. hurt. Dean saying he hated him was what struck him the most. He didn't intentionally cause Dean – or himself – this suffering, so why should he be the one to blame? If anything, Dean should have closed his eyes. Castiel always warns him to close his eyes. It wasn't fair.

Another thing that had hurt Cas was the fact that Dean seemed so incredibly unwilling to even think about bonding with him. It was rather insulting. Castiel understood that the hunter wasn't happy, of course – but there was no need to be so hurtful about it towards the angel. Especially since he was suffering so.. so much.

He grit his teeth as he felt the pain inside his chest intensify briefly. His eyes followed Dean, and he strongly resisted the urge to reach out and touch him. Especially that one spot.. No. He would go nowhere near the hand print. He would forbid himself from even thinking it. He let out a short gasp as Dean passed right in front of him, his scent intoxicating.

The hunter turned sharply, staring directly at him. He froze. He was still invisible, wasn't he? He didn't know anything about bonds doing this.

"Dean?" Sam said curiously.

"I.. I thought I heard.." Dean shook his head. "Never mind."

His eyes kept straying towards the angel, though, and he decided to take his leave. He was sick of all this, and he'd had enough for one day. He would take a nice break in one of the tropical rain forests in India. Right now, he needed to be as far away from Dean as possible.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback, enjoy!

They didn't see Castiel for another three weeks. They passed their time hunting demons and a couple of vampires, and researching every possible piece of information about angel-bonding. Dean had forced himself not to pray to the angel – which wasn't working out very well. He'd given in after about a week.

Cas, I don't know where you are, but if you could just get your feathery ass down here.. Whatever. I don't care.

Okay, uh, Cas? If you're listening, we could really use some help. Now.

Stop being a fucking dick, and come down to see me! I mean, us. Come on man.

Castiel, Angel of the freakin' Lord, get the fuck down here right now or I swear to God I'll kill you. What, are you deaf? I've been praying to you for days, dude! Where the hell are you?

None of that really worked out the way he'd planned. Cas remained silent, and he only became more desperate. The weird feeling in his gut had now also moved to his chest, and as predicted, it had turned into physical pain. Not so much an ache, but more a throbbing, which would sometimes become worse and sometimes fade into a dull pain. It was severely uncomfortable and he had no idea how to relieve it other than.. well, the impossible.

It was also getting on Sam's nerves. Dean was twitchy and irritable and sometimes just downright miserable, which he would of course take out on Sam, and the younger brother felt that if Dean didn't see Cas soon, he would end up killing them both. And to make matters worse, the research was going awful. They found enough things about angel-bonding, sure, but absolutely nothing about angel-and-human-bonding.

Anyway, they weren't thinking about that right now. Not specifically. It all seemed rather unimportant as Sam was lying face-down on the ground, groaning as he tried to get up, and Dean standing in front of him, quickly being neared by three hungry, angry vampires. As one lunged at him, a pretty female one, he quickly sunk the syringe of dead man's blood into her neck, and she gave a choked gasp before stumbling onto the ground, momentarily weakened.

The other two growled at Dean, and he winked at them.

"Come and get it, ladies," he grinned at the (male) vampires. He glanced back at Sam.

"Sammy, you okay?" he muttered from the corner of his mouth. To be honest, he wasn't sure he was up to this.

"Yeah," he groaned, kicking the other dead vampire off him. "I didn't touch his blood," he added, instantly earning a relieved sigh from his brother.

Sam stood up, his head pounding from where it had been smashed against the wall, and stood next to his brother, knife in hand.

The female vampire stood up again, looking shaken but recovered. They exchanged a look, and Dean gave Sam a tiny nod.

With that, they both rushed forward towards the vamps, Dean chucking a syringe to Sam who immediately sunk it into one of the vampire's necks. Dean tried to decapitate the biggest male, but he gave him a blow to the jaw which sent him reeling. As Sam was fighting the other two, the biggest was nearing the still dazed Dean. He shook himself, ignoring the pounding in his body, and faced the vampire.

The latter lunged towards him, smashing his hand against the wall. Dean gave a gasp as his hand cracked, crumpling up and dropping the knife on the ground.

Now that was just low. Even for a vampire.

The monster smirked at him as the Winchester tried to punch him with the other hand, simply grabbing the fist and squeezing – hard. He gave a cry as the other hand's bones snapped as well.

"Did – didn't your mother ever tell y-you it's rude to play with your food?" he said through gritted teeth.

"I'm going to have some fun with you Winchesters. Vermin, the pair of you. I'll make you suffer before I feast," the vampire growled.

Dean opened his mouth to reply, but he was interrupted by the vampire punching him in the ribs. He heard a faint "Dean!" as he sunk to the ground, pain taking over.

"Hmm, I expected better from a Winchester. From all the things I've heard, you two are impossible to kill. I must say, I'm rather.. disappointed."

Dean was shaking, trying desperately not to make any more sounds of pain. The vampire smirked down at him, before bashing his face against the wall. And again. And again. He faintly registered his brother running towards him but being stabbed in the leg by the female vampire.

"Sammy," he mumbled, his mouth full of blood, dazed worry flooding his mind for a moment before he was picked up – by his neck.

Dean strained to see with all the blood streaming down his forehead into his eyes, and he felt the hard, cold fingers bruise his neck as he tried to breathe. The vampire looked at the blood hungrily, licking his lips.

"Look at you. You're an absolute mess. I don't -" The vampire never got to finish his sentence.

A very, very angry angel appeared behind him, putting his hand on the monster's head and burning him with his powers. He grit his teeth as he watched the vampire sink to the ground – a twisted sort of glee in his eyes. He caught Dean in his arms as the vampire went limp, laying him gently, tenderly, on the ground. Castiel then appeared beside Sam, killing the other two vampires quickly before rushing back to Dean.

He carefully cupped his face with one of his hands, instantly healing the hunter. Dean groaned softly, his eyes still closed as he leaned into Cas' hand, pressing his lips against it and inhaling deeply. Castiel knew what he was going through – he was experiencing the same. The incredible relief and pleasure and delight and pure joy of being near the hunter again.. it was intoxicating. He forced himself to pull away though, ignoring the utter pain of tearing away. He also ignored Dean's horribly, desperately disappointed look as he opened his eyes and stared right at him.

Cas stood, tearing his eyes away from Dean's as he walked over to the other Winchester. Sam was nowhere near as hurt, thankfully, but his leg had a nasty stab wound, making it near impossible to walk, and he had a gash in his face. Cas pressed two fingers against his forehead, healing him.

"Thanks, Cas," Sam breathed, getting up. "Dean, you okay?"

"I'm fine," Dean replied, his tone not revealing anything as he stood up as well.

Sam saw with one glance what was wrong though. His brother's hands were trembling awfully, and his jaw was set, to say the least. Sam felt a pang of pity.

"Dean."

Both the Winchesters looked up, to see a still very angry Cas glaring at Dean.

"How on earth.." He neared the hunter slowly, and Dean hated to admit it but he was feeling the tiniest bit intimidated by the billowing coat and the deep voice and the cold, piercing blue eyes.

"Could you be.." he growled, gripping Dean's shoulders tightly, making him wince with both pain and pleasure.

"So incredibly stupid?!" The angel shoved the hunter against the wall, earning a yell from Sam.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean spluttered.

"This, Dean! You almost got killed!" Cas snarled.

"Dude, we were caught off guard. It's not Dean's fault, they trapped us -"

"Yes, thank you, Sam," Cas said through gritted teeth, his eyes never leaving Dean as he snapped his fingers. Sam disappeared on the spot.

"What the – where the fuck did you zap him to?" Dean asked angrily.

"Back to your hotel room. Listen to me, Dean." He grasped the lapels of Dean's jacket tightly. "You need to be more careful."

Dean took a deep breath. "I was handling it."

"Don't make me punch you," Cas hissed. "He was killing you and you know it."

"Yeah, you know why I'm so fucking weak these days? Why I'm trembling all the fucking time, why I keep becoming so dizzy I can hardly stand, and why I'm in constant freakin' pain? Huh, Cas?"

The angel bowed his head.

"Yeah, you already know. So excuse me if I'm not at my absolute best at the moment," Dean snapped.

Cas swallowed, moving his hands away from Dean before the latter grabbed them and pulled them back.

"Where've you been the last few weeks, huh?" he then asked, his voice shaking a little. "I've been praying to you, Cas."

"I heard," Cas said quietly.

The hunter stared at him in astonishment. "Then.. why the fuck didn't you say anything?! Or show yourself, or whatever?"

"I came when you needed me to, Dean. Don't ask for more than that."

Dean stared into Cas' cold, blue eyes. "You're a fucking dick, Cas, you know that?"

"Yes, so I've heard."

"I needed you before this, you douchebag! I needed you there with me! And you fucking know how I felt, because, according to you, you're feeling the same! How.. how can you.." He shook his head, words failing him.

He still hadn't let go of Cas' hands, something neither of them had noticed. Cas hadn't noticed his fingers threading through Dean's, either.

"When are you going to realise that this isn't what I want? I'm suffering as much as you are."

"Well, it doesn't seem like it."

They stared at each other, and Dean's heart was pounding wildly from finally being near the angel. He leaned forward, pulling Cas towards him by his hands, and he inhaled his scent deeply. He buried his nose into Cas' hair, closing his eyes as pleasure and need rippled through him. Cas was tense, but he didn't try to move away.

"You don't want this, Dean," Cas murmured, hands clenching into fists as Dean's lips brushed the shell of his ear.

"Yeah, I do.. I need it, Cas. I need you," he whispered, pulling the angel as close to him as possible.

"Dean, stop.. it's the bond talking," Cas panted. He bit his lip to stop a moan from escaping when Dean's tongue ran along his jaw.

"God.. God damn it, Cas," the hunter groaned. He stopped, his lips lingering on Cas' neck for a moment before he managed to tear himself away. They both winced at the lack of touch as soon as it happened.

"You're right. It's the bond. I don't want this," Dean breathed, running a hand along his jaw. "Take me to Sam."

Cas gave him a brief nod, touching his forehead. The next moment he was standing next to a very pissed-looking younger Winchester.

"Hey, Cas, what the fuck was that all about-" he began angrily, before being interrupted by Dean.

"Later," he muttered, and Sam glanced at them before nodding.

"So. You never answered my question," Dean then said, his voice cold as he turned away from Cas.

"Which one?" the angel asked, equally cold.

Sam didn't know what to think.

"Where the fuck were you? We could have used some help during a couple of hunts." Dean was standing with his back to Cas, his head bowed as he pretended to look busy and nonchalant. He reached into his pocket, pulling out some coins and decided to play around with these.

"I've been looking for.. help. For ways to end this," Cas answered, his voice emotionless.

That made Dean turn around. "And?"

Castiel looked at him, shaking his head. "Not yet," he said softly.

They looked at each other for a while before Sam cleared his throat. "In the meantime, we'll keep looking here. You'll let us know whenever you find anything, right Cas?"

"Of course. I'll.. I'll be back." With that, Castiel took his leave.

Dean's heart clenched as soon as the angel was gone, and he grit his teeth, preparing himself for another God knew how many weeks of torture. Sam sat next to him, sighing and doing the same.

"Take a shower, Dean. I'll do some more research," Sam said quietly.

The only reason he wanted his older brother to take a shower was because he knew it helped him relax, if only slightly. It was better than nothing. Dean looked at him, giving him a nod before getting up.

Sam hoped the next time they'd see the angel, it would be with information about how to end this bond.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback, I hope you enjoy!

It was a couple of days later when the nightmares started.

They made Dean's blood run cold. They weren't even real dreams, they were weird, disturbing flashes of images and sounds, screaming and blood and torture and pain, and they reminded Dean too much of the nightmares he had about Hell. And when he woke up, sweaty and panting, he'd just be filled with an incredible emptiness, like he was missing a huge part in his life. He couldn't get back to sleep after that.

He'd pretended like nothing was wrong the first few times, trying to hide his exhaustion from Sam. He'd wake up, spend half an hour calming himself down, and then lie awake for the rest of the night, while cursing Cas shakily under his breath.

After about a week though, it became too much. He woke up, sitting up immediately. His breath came in gasping pants, and he felt tears and sweat on his face.

"Cas," he whispered pleadingly, trembling all over and frightened of waking Sam. "Please.."

In a heartbeat, the angel was at his bed, looking at him sadly. Their eyes locked and they were silent for a few moments.

"Cas," came Dean's broken whisper, and then Cas was leaning his forehead against Dean's, closing his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I'm so sorry."

Dean took a deep breath, the warmth from Cas' touch spreading through his body, soothing him. He started calming down, and he shuddered, both from shock and pleasure of finally touching the angel again.

The nice warmth that had been seeping through his body the minute Cas touched him, was starting to make him drowsy. Dean's eyes fluttered closed against his will and he sagged forward slightly. He realised dully that Cas was using his mojo on him – but he really couldn't give a shit.

"Be here in the morning," he mumbled as he felt himself being laid back down on the bed.

He got no reply.

The next morning, Dean woke up feeling better than he had in days. He kept his eyes closed for a while longer, pulling the blankets tighter around him. There was no way he was leaving this fucking bed.

He spent a while in a pleasant, half awake state. Eventually, Dean groaned, rolling over. His heart thumped as soon as he felt a certain presence in the room. His eyes flew open, and sure enough, Cas was standing by the window with his back to him.

"What, now I've got angel radar?" Dean muttered, his voice rough from sleep.

Cas turned, his face earnest. "How do you feel?"

Dean blinked at him a couple of times, his jaw clenching as he remembered the night's events. "Fine. Great, actually."

Castiel nodded, relieved. "Good."

The hunter looked around. "Where's Sam?"

"He'll be back any minute, he's gone to get you some breakfast."

Dean nodded, and they were silent for a few moments. "Cas.. what the hell is happening?" he then asked quietly.

Cas sighed, coming closer to Dean as the latter sat up properly.

"I'm afraid.. it's having a severe effect on your subconscious," he answered simply and quietly.

Dean swallowed. "The bond."

Cas tore his eyes away from Dean's Adam's apple and nodded. Dean shook his head, rubbing his jaw for a moment.

"I can't go on like this, man."

The angel looked up.

"All the other crap was bad enough, and now I'm having nightmares? This shit is gonna kill me, Cas."

"What do you want me to do about it, Dean? I've been doing my best searching for answers, searching for people who can give me answers, and you know what I've found? Nothing! Nothing at all. I.. I'm losing hope, Dean."

Dean looked at him sharply after the last sentence, and got out of bed. He walked over to Cas, standing right in front of him as he debated whether or not to touch him. Eventually, he couldn't help himself and he brushed Cas' cheek. They both shuddered.

"Dean.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I never meant for this to happen, I didn't -"

"Hey, hey," Dean said softly, still stroking the angel's cheek. "It's all right, Cas. We'll get through this together. We're a team, right? We'll make it through. Don't worry."

"I think the smartest thing for you two to do is to stay together as much as possible," came a quiet voice from across the room.

Dean and Cas jumped away from each other like they'd been burned.

"Holy fuck, Sam! Don't fucking do that!" Dean snarled at his brother who was currently lying on top of his bed, sipping his coffee.

"How can I help it that you two were so wrapped up in each other you didn't hear me come in?" Sam shrugged.

"Sam, I think you're severely underestimating this fucking situation-"

"What did you mean before?" Cas interrupted curiously.

Sam stood up from the bed, tossing Dean his muffin. "Well, it's pretty obvious, isn't it? You two being apart hurts you both. It even hurts Dean when he's unconscious – I'm not stupid, Dean. I know you've been having nightmares. The only times you two seem more.. at ease, is when you're together. I think you should just stick together until we can find a solution. Don't you think?"

Cas and Dean looked at Sam, then at each other. Cas then hesitantly reached down and took the hunter's hand, to everyone's surprise.

Dean froze, before finally giving his hand a squeeze.

"Right, that's settled. Now let's get the fuck out of here and go for a drive or something," Sam muttered, opening the door already.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\

"Cas, buddy? I want to speak to you," Dean said quietly so as not to wake Sam.

Cas appeared in front of him.

"Could we do this somewhere more private?"

The angel nodded once, touching his fingers against Dean's forehead. They were back in same forest they were last time.

"What's up with you and this place, huh?" Dean said softly, looking around. It was night here as well, so it couldn't be that far away.

"I like it. It's quiet, it's peaceful. It's beautiful. I come here often to think," Cas answered quietly.

"Right," Dean said, not knowing what else to say.

"You wanted to talk?"

The hunter blinked. "Um, yeah. Yeah. I wanted to ask you something."

Cas raised his eyebrows slightly as Dean tried to formulate the question. "If.. if you've looked everywhere, asked every single soul out there for help and after everything you've found nothing.. what are our options?"

Castiel sighed, running a hand through his hair. Dean was surprised at the movement, it was an incredibly human thing to do.

"I leave the decision to you. We can either try.. and probably fail.. to ignore this. I don't need to remind you that this will only become worse as time passes. I'm sure you've already noticed."

Dean glanced at his trembling hands, and clenched them into fists.

"That, or we'll have to bond properly."

"You keep saying that. What the hell does that mean, exactly?"

"Our souls.. link together. It's.. incredibly intense. Unforgettable. And after that, we'll never even think of anyone else in that manner.. we'll only crave each other."

"You mean like.. soul sex?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

Cas glared at him.

"What? That's what you're making it sound like, dude!"

"Yes, I suppose you could call it that. Leave it to you to ruin even this."

Dean grinned briefly.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"You seem awful.. calm about all of this. I'd expected a more intense reaction than this."

"Yeah, well.. I've been thinking about stuff. And I still am," Dean said quietly.

Cas tilted his head, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Hey, Cas?" Dean leaned forward, coming as close to Cas as humanly possible without actually touching him.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, clenching them into tight fists, nails digging into his palms to keep from reaching out to the angel. He saw Cas' gaze trail down to his lips, and he took a deep breath.

"Cas, focus. I want to say something," he breathed.

Cas shivered, feeling Dean's warm breath practically on his lips. "What?"

"I'm sorry for what I said before. I don't hate you, Cas."

As the angel's eyes widened in surprise, Dean shrugged. "I knew you were there. Don't ask me how. I felt it. Anyway, you weren't supposed to hear that. It was a.. weak moment, I guess. This isn't your fault. You couldn't help it that your wings showed when you were so hurt.. I shouldn't have yelled."

Castiel looked at him, not knowing what to say.

"Oh, and by the way?" Dean leaned closer, now finally giving in and putting his hand on Cas' hip. "I never told you. Your wings. They're beautiful," he breathed in his ear.

Cas hissed. "Dean, if you don't back off now, I won't be responsible for my actions," he said through gritted teeth.

They stared at each other for a long time.

"We really shouldn't," Dean murmured painfully.

"We can't," Cas agreed.

"How.. how 'bout.. a hug?" Dean felt like such a pussy at the moment. Asking a guy for a fucking hug. Jesus Christ.

Luckily though, Cas knew exactly how he felt and nodded, immediately stepping forward and pulling the hunter to him.

Dean swallowed a groan at finally being close to the angel, wrapping his arms around him and surrounding himself with the scent and feel of Cas.

Dean focused on getting Cas as close to him as possible, holding him tight. He jumped like he'd been electrocuted when he felt lips at his neck, pressing softly, staying chaste.

He leaned his head sideways, giving the angel more access. Dean was unable to stop the moan pouring from his throat when he felt the nipping of teeth and the lick of a tongue.

"Cas.." he hissed, closing his eyes.

"Dean," Cas murmured in response, moving to right under his earlobe.

"Wh.. what happened to just a hug, huh?" the hunter chuckled breathlessly.

"You'll be the death of me, Dean Winchester," Cas moaned before pulling away with great difficulty.

They both stared at each other, thinking the same. One of these days, and they both knew it was going to be very soon, one of them was going to let go. They were going to go too far, and not be able to stop it.

"God help us when it happens," Dean whispered, more to himself than to Cas.

"I think if God had anything to do with this, none of it would have happened," Cas answered quietly.

"You think so?"

The angel nodded.

"Well, that's kind of insulting," Dean joked, but Cas tilted his head at him, not understanding.

"Wouldn't you prefer this not happening?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah, yeah. Of course," Dean said, rubbing a hand along his jaw. To be honest, he was still feeling quite light headed. And they had hardly done shit.

"Come," Cas said, reaching out his hand to Dean's forehead. The next moment, they were back in the motel room.

"You should get some rest, Dean."

Cas turned away. Dean grabbed his wrist. "Stay with me," he whispered, the anxiety clear in his eyes.

Cas felt his guts twist with guilt as he thought of the horrors which were Dean's dreams. He nodded, barely visible.

Dean quickly stripped, leaving himself only in his boxers as he climbed into the bed. Cas climbed in next to him, fully dressed as he wrapped his arms around the hunter, vowing to keep his mind pure and mercifully blank.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback, enjoy!

Dean woke up to an empty bed. He couldn't say he was surprised, but he still had to swallow the huge lump of disappointment.

"Hey," Sam greeted him, sitting on a chair with his laptop in front of him.

"Hey," Dean grunted, stretching.

"No nightmares this time?"

Dean paused. "No. Cas.. helped."

Sam nodded, knowing fine well what that meant. He had woken up briefly in the middle of the night and had seen the pair of them tangled up in each other. If the youngest Winchester hadn't known better, he'd have said Castiel had been asleep, the way he was lying so peacefully and serene, his eyes closed. He decided not to mention it to Dean. He hadn't missed his older brother's eyes flash with hurt when he noticed the empty spot next to him.

Sam was beginning to wonder how much the bond actually had to do with Dean's feelings for the angel.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, letting his gaze slip back to his laptop screen.

Dean shrugged, sitting up. "All right. I'm gonna have a shower, then let's head out."

Sam nodded. "I'll call Bobby, see if he has any kind of case for us."

"Right."

After Dean had locked the door, he sighed, running a hand through his hair. They weren't any closer to finding a solution than they were from the start. There was nothing that could help them. If only this had happened before somewhere, then he could ask that person or angel for help. But there was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Although.. A grin started forming on Sam's face. This may not have happened before, but there was still an angel out there who might be able to help them. An angel they hadn't even considered yet.

An archangel, to be exact.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"Dean!"

The hunter got pulled roughly out of his thoughts by Sam knocking on the door.

"What?" he snapped.

"I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back soon!"

Dean frowned in confusion. Sam sounded awful happy 'bout something. Maybe he'd met a chick.

"All right, whatever. Go wild," he muttered.

He got no reply. He sighed, shaking his head as he pulled off the rest of his clothes. He stepped under the warm stream of water, relishing the feel of it pouring down his back. Dean felt his muscles relax, felt the tension disappear from his neck. He sighed, leaning his head back. His thoughts drifted to his dreams that night.

They had not been nightmares. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Dean bit his lip as he thought back to the feel of Cas' lips on his, his skin warm and smooth against his own. He had been incredibly grateful that Sam hadn't noticed the.. uncomfortable situation he'd been in when he'd woken up. Although, he'd probably known anyway, by the way Dean had rushed to the shower. He couldn't complain though, he'd pick these dreams over the nightmares in a heartbeat.

He closed his eyes, thinking back to the low moans and growls the angel had made in his ear, his fingers trailing down Dean's body.

His own fingers trailed down his body at the moment, taking advantage of the fact that he was now alone. He started rubbing himself, hissing slightly as he imagined Cas stroking him, slowly and filthily.

He imagined Cas licking and biting at his neck while he was rubbing him, quickening the pace as he did so. Cas tugging at his hair.. nibbling his lip, sucking at his throat.

"Oh God, Cas," Dean moaned, knowing he was going to lose it soon.

Cas growling Dean's name in his ear.

That did it. He came with a loud gasp of the angel's name, feeling his knees give and he gripped the bar of the shower curtain to steady himself.

"Fuck," Dean hissed, slowly coming down from his high. "Fuck."

He rinsed himself off, his hands still trembling. He felt the burning need to touch Cas, to be with him, along with the growing despair that this was getting out of hand. He ran a hand through his hair, wondering how the fuck he was going to do this any more.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Dean's stomach growled as he waited for his breakfast to arrive. He still hadn't heard from Sam, which left him eating breakfast at the local diner by himself with the laptop in front of him. He didn't think he could be more pathetic.

"Here you go, honey," the waitress smiled, putting down his plate of bacon and eggs along with his coffee.

"Thanks sweetheart," he said absent-mindedly, quickly clicking away the page he'd opened.

He didn't even check out her backside as she walked away. Things were really bad. He sighed, digging into his food. He took a long gulp of coffee before pausing, staring at the vacant seat opposite him. Well, it seemed vacant.

"Cas?" Dean muttered.

The angel appeared, blue eyes meeting green. He looked displeased.

"So you can sense my presence, then," Cas muttered, frowning.

"Yeah. Too bad you can't spy on my any more, huh?" Dean grinned, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Cas didn't reply, instead letting his eyes drop to Dean's chest. The latter swallowed, feeling the angel's gaze burn into his skin.

"Where's Sam?" Cas asked suddenly.

"He's.. I don't know. He just took off," Dean said with a shrug, eyes on Cas' lips.

Cas frowned. "Oh. Is he all right?"

"Uh.. I think so. Hang on, let me just call him actually."

Dean swallowed again before tearing his gaze away from Cas' mouth, reaching into his pocket.

"Dean?"

"Hey, Sammy. What are you doing?"

"I'm uh.. I'm busy. It's fine. Look, I'll call you back later, okay?"

Dean frowned. "Uhh.. okay?"

He blinked at the phone as the call ended. "Well, that was.. brief."

"What did he say?" Cas asked curiously.

"He just said he's busy and that he'd call me later. I'm starting to get a bit worried, to be honest," Dean said, running a hand through his hair.

Cas didn't reply, he just tilted his head a little, frowning. Dean sighed, moving back a little so his legs didn't touch the angel's, and looked back at his laptop screen.

"Anyway, in the meantime, there's this abandoned hotel a few miles away from here. People have reported weird noises, sights, the usual. I'm thinkin' poltergeist. Wanna check it out?"

Cas looked troubled. He leaned forward, making Dean automatically lean in as well. "Dean, I seem to have grown weaker since.. well, that's not important. The point is that I won't be able to help you properly. I'm not fully capable of my powers. I'm afraid I'll be of no use to you," he said grimly. "I'm sorry."

"Cas, shut up. Angelic powers or not, you're still one hell of a hunter. And I could use some help, buddy," the Winchester said with a small grin.

"But I -"

"I don't give a shit. You're coming, and that's it."

Cas glared at him for a few moments before sighing and nodding. "Fine, but only because I don't want you to go there by yourself."

"Awesome," Dean smirked, and Cas couldn't help but smile back.

The hunter pushed his plate away, appetite gone. "Let's go."

He put some money on the table, and they left. Cas paused when they were about to get into the Impala. Dean looked up, raising an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Don't you think.. don't you think that being in a confined space together will be a bit difficult?" he asked, worried blue eyes meeting Dean's.

Dean stopped, realising the angel had a point. Then he shook his head. "Look, it's like twenty minutes away. We'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"No. But we're gonna have to deal with this somehow. Come on."

After about three minutes of awkward silence, Dean felt like he was going to explode. His fingers were twitching on the steering wheel, it was too hot and he had trouble breathing. Above that, he was painfully aware of every single fucking move the angel made, and when he didn't move, Dean could see his pulse beating rapidly in his throat.

He didn't even want to consider how the angel was feeling right now.

Dean took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly as he tried to focus on the road.

"So, Cas. What've you been up to?" he tried, his voice sounding like a dry croak in his ears.

He could see Cas swallow with difficulty. "I've been looking for someone to release us from this bond, like I've told you."

"No luck, huh?" No shit Sherlock.

"No."

It was silent for a few more painful minutes.

"Look, I can just fly there -"

"We're here," Dean interrupted with a sigh of relief.

Cas unclenched the fists he wasn't aware of clenching in the first place, and zapped out of the car, not having the patience for opening the door. Dean followed quickly after, and they both took a deep breath of the lovely fresh air.

"So let me get this straight – you can still zap around, even with your weakened powers?" Dean asked, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead. He reached into the trunk, pulling out the necessities and handing a gun to Cas.

"Yes. Since I've still got my wings, I can still fly. I think I could also still heal minor injuries, but I can't kill creatures at the moment," Cas sighed, looking at Dean with a frown, taking the gun doubtfully.

"Hey, don't worry. It'll come back to ya. In the meantime, you can help me kill some evil sons of bitches. Let's go."

As Dean looked up at the creepy-as-fuck hotel, Cas looked at Dean, a small smile playing on his lips. He wondered what he'd done to deserve someone like him. He silently thanked his Father with all his heart as he followed Dean inside.

It was dirty and dark inside. It was also eerily quiet, something Dean had learned not to trust a long time ago. The windows were boarded shut, and Dean tossed Cas a torch, clicking on his own. The angel copied him, blinking at the bright light emerging from it.

They walked through the hotel, checking the rooms for any signs of paranormal activity. After about two hours of trudging through the abandoned place, they'd still found nothing.

"Dean, I don't think -"

Cas' sentence was cut off. They both froze as they heard a loud scraping coming from the wall behind Cas' head, as if someone was dragging a hook along it.

"Cas," Dean hissed. "Get away from there right now."

The angel nodded, very slowly stepping away from the wall. Dean grabbed his arm, pulling him in and the scraping noise stopped abruptly. Cas pointed the torch towards the wall, and Dean cursed when he saw a long line of ripped wallpaper, dark red substance oozing from it.

Cas stepped towards it, much to the distress of Dean. He stuck a finger into the substance and brought it to his lips.

"Dude!" Dean yelled.

"It's blood," Cas nodded, stepping back towards Dean.

"We could have figured that out without fucking tasting it! Damn it, Cas!"

Cas tilted his head and frowned, about to reply when Dean was suddenly launched through the air, smack into a wall.

"Dean!"

The angel appeared next to the groaning hunter. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine.. come on, we need to-"

This time, both Cas and Dean were thrown through the air, Cas bashing into a boarded window, Dean crashing through a door.

"Fucking hell!" Dean snarled.

He wiped some blood from his eye and looked around for Cas. He didn't have a chance to yell for him though, because the next moment, he was catapulted again, this time right into a tiny room. Cas followed him soon after, landing on top of him with a gasp. Cas scrabbled up, just in time to see the door being slammed shut.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback, enjoy!

Cas and Dean looked at each other in panic before rushing to the door, Dean trying to open it with all his might, foot pushing against the wall next to it.

"Move!" Cas demanded, trying to open it himself.

After about ten minutes of fruitless pulling and shoving and cursing, they both were forced to accept that that door just wasn't opening.

Dean ran a hand through his hair, only to find it sticky with blood afterwards.

"Can't see a fucking thing," he growled, the pain of his battered body now finally sinking in.

There was a moment of silence as Cas walked to the only window in the room, drawing the curtains. The window was so small, Dean doubted his head would have fit through it, never mind the rest of his body. That was that escape plan down the drain.

That train of thought reminded him that he was actually in a lot of pain right now, and with a hiss he looked down at his body.

Cas did the same, and his brow furrowed.

"Come here," the angel muttered, touching his forehead and healing him.

"Thanks."

They were silent for a few moments.

"Looks like we're trapped here," Dean then said.

"Apparently."

"You sure you can't get us out?"

Cas looked pained. "I'm.. sure."

"Right. Son of a bitch is gonna fucking pay. Hang on, I'll call Sam."

Cas slowly moved to the other side of the tiny room, basically pressing himself against the wall to be as far away from Dean as possible.

The hunter cursed, chucking his phone through the small room. "God damn it! No reception."

He stared off into the distance for a while, before leaning heavily against the wall, sliding down onto the ground.

"Fuck," Dean muttered, covering his face with his hands. "Fuck."

"Dean, it's not such a big deal. Sam will know something's wrong and -"

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up, Cas!" Dean snapped.

"Calm down -"

"No! Don't you fucking tell me to calm down, you stupid son of a bitch! You don't get it, do you? You don't.." he trailed off, running his hands through his hair.

"Of course I get it, Dean," Cas said quietly.

Dean looked up into Cas' sad eyes, and he felt a sharp stab of guilt run through him.

"I.. I'm sorry, Cas. I just.. you know.. This is.."

"Inconvenient for our situation?" Cas offered.

Dean let out a bitter chuckle. "You could say that."

Cas allowed himself a smile, and they looked at each other for a while, smiles slowly fading. Dean swallowed loudly, heart beating loudly in his ears.

"As long as you stay there and I stay here, nothing will happen," Cas said, his voice low.

"Yeah," the hunter muttered, rubbing his eyes, and keeping them closed afterwards.

Maybe if he couldn't see Cas, it wouldn't be that bad. He took a deep breath through his nose, becoming increasingly aware of the angel's presence only a couple of feet away from him.

After what seemed like ages, he finally opened his eyes, only to find Cas staring at him with his jaw and fists clenched.

A muscle twitched in Dean's cheek, and he forced himself to stay where he was, not moving an inch. He could actually feel sweat beading on his forehead from the effort. Cas watched him in silence.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, until Dean had to actually sit on his hands to keep them from shaking so badly. He had to do something to distract himself – to distract them both, even.

"Hey, Cas?"

"Yes?"

"I never used to believe in angels, you know."

Cas cleared his throat. "Yes, I know."

"And uh.. since I've been a bit of a douchebag to you lately.. whatever I say.."

The angel tilted his head.

"I'm glad you proved me wrong."

Cas smiled. "Wouldn't this be described as one of your hated 'chick-flick moments'?"

Dean smirked. "Shut up. If you ever breathe a word of this to Sam, I swear to your dad I won't be responsible for my fucking actions."

They both chuckled, until it fell comfortably silent – at first. After a few minutes of listening to each other breathing again, Dean could feel the familiar tugging. He looked at Cas, taking in every detail of him. He saw the quickening pulse in his neck, the clenched fists with nails digging into the palms. The tired, tired eyes staring at the ground. The pale lips, the tongue darting out to wet them.

"Fuck this," he finally grunted, sitting up.

"Look, Dean," Cas said quietly, "don't worry. Nothing is going to happen. I won't let it."

"Cas, you don't get it.." Dean whispered as he slowly made his way to the angel, who immediately stiffened.

"I can't.. I want it to happen," he muttered, his hands reaching up to touch Cas' face. "I fuckin' hate myself for it. I'm too weak, Cas. I can't do this any more."

"Dean, no," Cas said softly, hands going up to grab Dean's and pull them gently away from his face.

"No, Cas. Enough," Dean hissed, his hands going up to tangle in the angel's hair. "It's gonna fucking happen sooner or later anyway. What's the point any more?"

"Dean," Cas said firmly, but with the hint of a tremble in his voice, as the hunter pressed his lips against his jaw. "Stop. You don't want this and you know it."

"Fuck, I want this," Dean groaned in his ear, sending shivers down Castiel's spine.

Cas tried to stand up, but Dean grasped him firmly by the shoulders and shoved him back down again.

"Oh, no. You're not getting out of this one. Not any more," the eldest Winchester said fiercely.

Cas stared at him with hard eyes, not saying anything for a while.

"Fine," he then growled. "You want to do this? Then we'll do this."

With those words, he lunged forward, grabbing the startled hunter's collar and yanking him towards himself. There was a tiny moment of hesitation as they felt each other's breath on their lips, before they simultaneously closed the gap. The kiss was needy, desperate and sloppy.

Cas let out a growl from the back of his throat, his hands roaming all over Dean's body.

He leaned forward until Dean was lying down, leaning up on his elbows. The angel attacked his neck, pressing his lips and grazing his teeth against it, making Dean shudder and groan under him.

The hunter's hands crept up under Cas' shirt, nails digging into his sides.

Cas moved his lips back up to Dean's again, kissing him hungrily.

"Dean," he breathed into the kiss every few seconds.

Dean roughly shoved the angel back before tearing off his trench coat. He didn't bother with the buttons on Cas' shirt, just ripping it open and tossing it over his shoulder. His hands went to his own shirt, but Cas batted his hands away and tore it off.

The hunter's hands crept up Cas' back, pausing when he felt something soft and silky, inches above the skin.

"Wha.."

He looked up at Cas' face, saw how his eyes were shut tight and his teeth were gritted, his breath coming in sharp hisses. Realisation dawned on him, and he tentatively stroked his fingers upwards, feeling the soft texture of feathers, sure enough.

The movement forced a wretched moan from the angel. Dean allowed himself a brief grin before he stroked the wings as far as he could reach, and then trailing his fingers back down again. Cas shuddered, and let himself go, his wings uncloaking.

Dean stared at them, speechless. They were even more beautiful up close. He watched the light reflecting on the black-blue wings, giving them a soft glow.

Cas watched Dean in silence. The hunter ran a finger along a few feathers, and the wing twitched slightly.

"Jesus, Cas," Dean muttered.

The angel pulled Dean towards him, biting and kissing at his jaw, his neck, his collarbones. Dean cursed beneath him, momentarily distracted from the wings. He suddenly felt the incredible pull of the bond, stronger than ever, and it made him gasp loudly. By the expression on Cas' face, he'd felt it too. They stared at each other for a brief few seconds before Cas made a low growling sound in the back of his throat and reached for Dean's trousers, practically tearing them off. His own were torn off by Dean before he had the chance to do it himself.

The incredible hunger took over them both, making them throw all their rational thoughts aside. Cas shoved Dean onto his back, and the latter pulled him along with him, smashing their lips together.

The hunter could feel soft warmth wrapping around him, and he opened his eyes to find that Cas had wrapped his wings around them both, cocooning them.

"Dean," Cas said through gritted teeth, obviously putting a lot of effort into stopping himself. "Do you trust me?"

Dean looked up in those blue, pure eyes, and he couldn't find anything he didn't love. He gave a short nod, words failing him.

And then Cas was inside him, and he couldn't breathe. He'd expected it to hurt, especially since it was his first time ever, but there was nothing. He supposed it had to do with the bond. All he could feel was pure pleasure, and hunger, and lust, and tons of other emotions which he couldn't bother to dwell on at the moment.

Dean was caught in a wave of moans and sweat and skin against skin, and the soft feel of feathers around them, shielding them from the little light there was. All he could see, feel, taste, was Cas.

Castiel.

The name was on his lips more times than he could count as the angel moved in him. His own hands stroked his ribs and his back, and finally his wings, and Dean saw how his angel was falling apart, not unlike him.

Dean.

This man under him, this absolute beautiful human being with the brightest soul he had ever seen, was making him feel things he'd never thought he'd ever feel. With every touch, and moan, and kiss, and breath of his name, Cas could feel himself becoming overwhelmed by all the new emotions, the sensations. Every stroke of his wings made him shudder, and every thrust made him moan uncontrollably.

He felt like a man who had been insatiably thirsty all his life, and was now finally getting his drink of water.

There was nothing that had ever been, or could ever be, more right than this.


	10. Chapter 10

The first thing Sam noticed when Gabriel opened the door was that the room reeked of sex. The second thing he noticed was that Dean and Cas were as far away from each other as possible, lying down in the far corners of the room.

"Dean!" he exclaimed, nearing his brother.

He saw with alarm that something was very wrong. Dean was propped up against the wall, his face pale and sweaty, his eyes half shut. Sam could hear his laboured breath as he touched his shoulder.

"Dean? Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, eyes scanning Dean for signs of injury.

"Of course he's not okay," Gabriel said, sounding annoyed. "Castiel, you stupid little -"

"What the hell are you talking about, Gabriel? What's wrong with him?" Sam snapped, interrupting him.

"Look, first things first. Let's get both these idiots back to safety." Gabriel snapped his fingers and they were in their motel room, Dean lying on his bed.

The latter cracked open an eye, attempting to smirk at his younger brother. "Hiya, Sammy."

"What the fuck happened to you, Dean?" Sam demanded, touching his brother's forehead. "You're burning up."

"I'll tell you what happened. Your brother and little Castiel here have been screwing," Gabriel said, raising his eyebrow, his mouth twitching into a smirk.

"What the fuck is this jackass doing here?" Dean grunted, before doubling over with pain.

"I'm here to help you, smart ass," the archangel snapped.

"Why?"

That was the first word Sam had heard Cas say since they'd found them.

"Look, it doesn't matter. Gabe, Dean doesn't look good," Sam barked, interrupting anyone who was planning on speaking.

"All right, all right, Sam. Castiel, come here."

Cas stood up, swaying slightly as he walked over to the bed.

"Cas, take Dean's shirt off."

"Woah!" Sam exclaimed. "Now isn't the time to indulge in your weird fetishes, man."

Gabriel rolled his eyes at Sam. "Do it."

After a moment of hesitation, Cas pulled Dean's shirt off.

"Your hand."

"But Gabriel -"

"For fuck's sake, just do it!"

Cas glanced at Sam before slowly putting his hand on Dean's hand print. Dean jerked up, his eyes flying open with a gasp. Cas looked like he was about to explode, and with a grunt he fell to his knees.

"Gabriel-!" Sam began.

The archangel put a hand on both Dean's and Cas' forehead, closing his eyes. Suddenly, the room was filled with a white light, accompanied with a high ringing sound which pierced right into Sam's skull. He gasped, crouching down and covering his ears with his hands.

"Sam!" Gabriel shouted. "Get out of here!"

Sam collected all his strength and crawled towards the door, trying to feel his way around. When he finally felt the door, he scrambled up and reached for the door handle. The sound piercing through his head quickly made him cover his ears again, though, and he sunk to the ground, groaning. All he could see and hear and feel was white light and white noise.

"Dean.." he groaned, before he fell flat on his face and passed out.

A few minutes later, he woke up to the light and noise fading, Gabriel truly looking like the archangel he was as he stood there, eyes lit up and pure power crackling around him like lightning. His enormous wings were silhouetted against the wall.

Sam sat there watching breathlessly as everything faded down.

Eventually, Gabriel turned his head, looking at Sam. He winked. "How you doing?"

Sam just stared at him before scrambling up, rushing over to Dean. Cas was on the ground next to him, seemingly unconscious.

"They won't wake up for another, say, 24 hours," Gabriel commented, fishing a chocolate bar out of his pocket.

Sam just stared at him, trying to form words. "Gabriel, what the hell?!"

Gabriel had just been about to take a bite out of his snack. "What?"

"Why.. what just.. how?" Sam spluttered.

The archangel rolled his eyes. "All right, sit down."

He snapped his fingers and suddenly Sam was sitting down in the most comfortable chair he'd ever put his backside on. Another chocolate bar appeared out of thin air.

"Chocolate?"

Sam shook his head wordlessly. Gabriel shrugged. "More for me."

"Gabriel."

Gabriel sighed. "All right. Dean and Castiel had sex."

As much as Sam wanted to cringe, he forced himself to let Gabriel continue.

"Having sex is the worst thing you can do when you're bonded together and you don't want to be."

"'Cause then you officially bond, right?"

"No."

"Wait.. what?"

"Nothing can undo a bond when it's properly formed, Sasquatch. Not even an archangel. I can't break bonds, I can only.. undo almost bonds."

Sam blinked. "You lost me."

Gabriel sighed. "All right, look. A bond is properly formed when their souls connect. It's not the same as having sex. Once the souls have connected, there is no way to ever undo it. They stay like that forever."

He took another bite from his chocolate bar before continuing.

"However, dear old Dean and Castiel here hadn't connected their souls. Yet."

Sam nodded, he had no doubt that if they'd been a bit later they would have done just that.

"That's why I could still undo it. They're a pair of very lucky idiots."

The youngest Winchester frowned slightly as he processed the information. "But.. what was wrong with Dean? Why did he look so bad?"

"Yeah, about that," Gabriel said while rolling his eyes, "My fucking idiot little brother didn't think. A bond between two angels is hard enough to withstand, never mind between an angel and a human being. When they screwed.." - Sam pulled a face - "Dean's soul became.. sick. It's like they'd been so close together, being apart was going to slowly kill him. It's a good thing I found him on time."

Sam sat there in silence for a few minutes. Gabriel walked over to Dean, poking his face.

"Uh, Gabe.." Sam began quietly.

Gabriel looked up.

"Thanks. You.. you kind of saved Dean's life."

Gabriel smirked. "I know, Gigantor. Don't think I'm going to let you forget this."

Sam smiled. Gabriel cleared his throat.

"So. We've got about 24 hours to kill. How does Vegas sound?"

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\

He was back in the Pit. He couldn't see a thing – they probably burned out his eyes again – but he could smell and he could hear. He smelled the charred flesh and blood and meat. He heard the tortured screams and wails and shrieks of pure anguish and agony.

He felt a scream brewing in himself, but it seemed as if his mouth was sewn shut because he couldn't part his lips. All that came out of him was a desperate, muffled noise that made his lungs feel like they were on fire.

_I can't be back. I can't be back. I can't be back._

"Hi there, Dean."

He froze completely as he heard that all too familiar voice.

"Did you miss me?" Alastair said, and even without seeing his face he knew he was smirking.

Dean started shaking uncontrollably, mentally begging anyone, anything, to get him out.

_Please._

He heard Alastair chuckle as he felt a needle go into his throat. And another one. And another one.

Dean writhed around, choking on his own blood, praying desperately.

_Sam! SAM!_

Alastair started whistling, and Dean felt a blunt knife slice his body open from neck to navel. He felt – and heard – his guts falling out, and his uncontrollable, muffled and choked screaming intensified.

"CAS!"

Dean jolted upwards, sweat damp on his face as he panted harshly. He took a few moments to realise that he was in bed, that he was safe and warm and not being tortured. He looked around, and jumped when he saw Cas sitting next to the bed.

"Calm down, Dean. You were dreaming," Cas said in that solemn, reassuring voice of his.

"What.. what happened?" Dean asked, blinking.

Cas stood up, walking towards the window, facing away from him.

"Gabriel broke the bond," he answered rather shortly.

The hunter needed a few moments to process and understand that information. Everything came rushing back to him, up to the very last moment he was conscious. There were a million things he wanted to say and even more to ask, but he'd be damned if he knew how to.

"Where's Sam?" he asked instead.

"Gone with Gabriel."

"What? Why?" Dean asked, confused.

"It took you about 30 hours to regain consciousness, it took me 24. I suspect Gabriel didn't want to be bored. In fact, I'll let him know we're awake right now."

Cas hadn't turned around or even looked in his general direction during the whole conversation. Dean just stared at his back as the angel called his brother. He still felt dizzy and light-headed, and strangely empty.

A few seconds later, Gabriel and Sam appeared, looking way too happy for Dean's liking. His annoyance evaporated as soon as Sam grinned at him, his eyes lighting up.

"Dean!"

"Hey, Sammy."

Sam rushed over to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm just peachy."

Gabriel appeared next to him, and he abruptly put a hand on his chest.

"Woah, what the fuck?" Dean exclaimed, but the archangel ignored him.

"Come here, bro," Gabriel called over to Cas, and the latter obliged silently.

Gabriel put his hand on Cas' chest as well, and Cas showed no signs of emotion.

"Yeah. Bond is completely gone," the archangel then concluded, removing his hands.

"So.. it's over," Dean said slowly, looking up at Cas.

The latter stared back, nodding slowly. "I suppose it is."

Dean didn't know why, but he found that that sentence sounded incredibly human. Their eyes stayed locked, and the hunter felt weird fluttering in his guts, which he assumed was an after effect of the whole bond-removing thing.

Sam cleared his throat. Cas looked up, nodded at Gabriel, and vanished.

"Uhh.. wow," Sam said awkwardly.

"Guess no bond breaking could take away that stick up his ass," Gabriel said lazily. "You're welcome, by the way."

"Um.. yeah, thanks. Why the fuck did you agree to help us, anyway?" Dean asked, still a bit dazed and quite a bit hurt from Cas' abrupt disappearance.

"Because I like your brother," Gabriel said with a shrug. "Not that it was easy to convince me, though. Especially when I heard that it was to help you. But you were lucky since I was in a good mood."

"Great. I don't owe you anything now, do I?" he asked suspiciously.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "What do I look like, some crossroads demon?"

"Well, it's not like you usually do something out of the goodness of your heart. What's the catch?"

"Dean, there's no catch," Sam intervened. "He agreed to help me after some convincing. He found you, took care of that poltergeist and released you from that awful bond thing. That's it."

The eldest Winchester looked at Gabriel for a while, who returned his gaze with a wink. Finally, Dean sat up and held out his hand.

"Thanks."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, ignoring the outstretched hand.

"Right, I suppose that's my cue to go, Samsquatch. I'll see ya."

"Wait, Gabe. Can't you stick around for a while?" Sam asked.

Dean grimaced at the nickname, but didn't say anything. Gabriel grinned.

"I guess I could stay for a couple of days. Actually, I think I will stay, just to enjoy the show," he said slyly.

"What show?" Sam asked, confused.

Dean looked at Gabriel sharply. "Yeah,  _Gabe_ , what show?"

Gabriel just winked at them both, and vanished.

"Dick," Dean muttered.

Sam just rolled his eyes, standing up to get them some food.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback, it really means a lot! Enjoy.

Dean awoke with a gasp. He could feel sweat on his forehead and his hands shook as they grasped the sheets.

"Fuck," he moaned quietly before he could stop himself.

His hand went down to the hard bulge in his pyjama trousers, before he froze, remembering his little brother was in the room with him. Dean growled, getting out of bed as quietly as he could and disappearing into the bathroom.

He came quickly and quietly after a few sharp tugs, leaning heavily against the wall. This was getting out of control. He'd been dreaming about Castiel every night this week, waking up sweaty and panting and incredibly hard.

He assumed it was probably some kind of residue from the bond.

Dean washed his face, staring at himself in the mirror while leaning on the sink. He had huge shadows under his eyes from the lack of sleep. He needed to shave.

He needed to get this damn case sorted out. He and Sam had been working on it for a couple of days. They were 90 percent sure it was vampires,  _again_ , they just needed to track them before more people died. God, he fucking hated the dicks.

Gabriel hadn't shown up, despite his words, although Dean had the distinct suspicion that he and Sam had been talking privately.

The thought creeped him out immensely, but he didn't say anything about it since it refrained from Gabriel visiting him as well.

He hadn't seen Castiel once.

A couple of days after Gabriel had broken the bond, they'd checked out of their motel, heading for a different direction when Sam had spotted a case a couple of states over. A couple of calls to Bobby, some newspaper articles, and soon enough they were working again.

And he wasn't thinking of Cas every second of the day. Nope, he definitely wasn't.

Sam had tried to gingerly approach the subject a couple of times, with a careful "So, have you heard from Cas lately?" or "Wow, we haven't seen Cas in a while, right?" Sam was the epitome of subtlety, obviously.

Dean sighed, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. What the fuck was going on? He'd expected to feel so much better after the bond had been broken, like a weight would have been lifted off of his shoulders. All that was happening was he was having frequent sexual dreams about the angel, he was thinking about him all the time and he found himself missing him immensely.

Right. He needed to get out.

He went back into the room, quietly pulled some clothes on, grabbed the car keys and shut the door behind him. He left the motel, then got into the Impala and drove.

The sun was only just coming up, and Dean took a few moments to admire the different shades of red, pink and blue bleeding into the sky.

Sam could say what he wanted about his big brother, but Dean could appreciate nature at the end of the day. He just usually didn't do it in front of others.

He sighed, shaking his head as he drove slowly along a quiet road.

When was this fucking bond thing going to end? He'd thought as soon as it was broken, the effect would be immediate. No more dreams. No more want. No more anything.

Jesus, how wrong he'd been.

Grimacing, Dean put some music on. AC/DC should do the trick.

"She was a fast machine.." he mumbled along, tapping his hands on the steering wheel.

"Knocking me out with those American thighs!" he sang loudly now, really getting into it.

"None of that makes any sense."

Dean let out a yell, swerving off the road and slamming on the brakes. The car screeched to a halt mere inches away from a tree. Dean punched the button to turn the music off.

"FUCK!" he shouted. He turned to his side, glaring furiously at the sheepish looking angel sitting in the passenger seat. "Fucking hell, Cas!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"I almost fucking crashed into that tree! I could have died! Or worse, my baby could have been bashed up!"

"I'm sorry," Cas repeated, looking guilty now.

Dean took deep, steadying breaths, clenching his shaking hands on the steering wheel. After a few moments of Dean trying not to hyperventilate, he broke the silence. "It's okay. It's okay."

After he had gotten over the initial shock of almost dying, he took a good look at Castiel. He looked good. Better than good. Dean couldn't stop the small smile that crept on his lips.

"Hey, Cas."

Cas turned to look at him, a confused frown on his face. His expression smoothed over when he met the hunter's eyes and Dean thought he could see the ghost of an answering smile on the angel's face.

"Hello, Dean."

More silence as they stared at each other, unable to break their gazes away. Dean cleared his throat.

"How've you been?"

Cas looked puzzled by the question. "I've been.." He trailed off, finally looking away.

Dean felt the smile slip from his face. "I've missed you," he blurted out. "We've missed you," he backtracked hastily.

Cas looked at him curiously. He felt those big blue eyes looking into his soul and picking him apart.

"I've missed you too," he said finally. Dean didn't know if he was talking about just him or him and Sam. He didn't have the guts to ask.

It was silent in the car for a while. Dean couldn't tear his eyes away from Cas' lips, remembering how they felt on his own. He shook himself.

"Where've you been, man? It's been ages." It hadn't, really, but it felt like it.

Cas sighed, looking at his hands. "I was in Heaven, trying to resolve the situation slightly."

When he didn't elaborate, Dean raised his eyebrows. "And?"

"And it didn't work. But things are a bit calmer at the moment."

"That's good," Dean offered with a smile.

Cas returned it. "Yes, it is."

More silence. The hunter cleared his throat. This was ridiculous. "Wanna go get some breakfast?"

Cas glanced at him, probably going to tell him that he didn't require food, but to Dean's surprise, he swallowed and nodded.

He started driving, putting his music back on to break the silence. It was weird.

It was even weirder when the two of them were sitting at a booth in an empty diner. It was starting to look too much like a date, in Dean's opinion.

"How is Sam?" Cas asked suddenly.

"He's.. he's good, yeah. He's been hanging around with Gabriel an awful lot lately," Dean said with a slight grimace.

"Yes, Gabriel is growing very fond of Sam," Cas remarked.

"Ugh," Dean said with a shudder. He swore he could see the hint of a smirk tugging at Cas' lips.

"Why does that bother you?" the angel asked innocently.

Dean glared at him. "Why do you think? It's weird, man. I don't like it."

Cas actually laughed now. It was a soft laugh, but it was still a laugh, and Dean knew the rest of his day was made.

The waitress came over, a young, nice looking girl. Dean waited for the automatic attraction for almost anything with tits to come, but it never did. Sure, he could appreciate her appearance – she was definitely one of the hottest women he'd seen in a long time. Long auburn hair, tossed over one shoulder. Plump lips, a ski slope nose and big hazel eyes. Not to mention the ass on her.

But still. He didn't..  _feel_  like it.

"Can I get you anything?" she said with a wide smile.

Dean was about to put on his charming grin, the standard procedure when speaking to the female gender, when he noticed to his annoyance that she wasn't even sparing him a glance. She was too busy staring at Cas –  _his_  Cas – to even acknowledge his presence.

The angel looked flustered.

"Uh.."

"He'll have a coffee. Black, two sugars," Dean butted in. He knew that Cas liked coffee, one of the few things he liked about humanity. "I'll have the pancakes. And a black coffee."

The waitress glanced at him, seemingly annoyed, before turning back to Castiel. "Is that all, honey? Is there anything else I can get you?" she said with a wink.

Dean was about to open his mouth to kindly tell her to fuck off, but Cas interrupted him.

"Maybe.. later. Thank you, Kim," he said with a smile.

"All right," she grinned, making a big show of moving her hips as much as possible as she walked away.

The hunter could have sworn the name tag said Kimberly. What the fuck was Cas doing?

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Cas blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Why were you flirting with her?" it came out a lot more aggressive than he'd meant. "I mean.. I thought you didn't care about that stuff?" he backtracked, calmer.

Cas frowned. "I wasn't flirting, I was just being kind. And I don't care about that stuff."

Dean paused. "Wait, what stuff are we talking about?"

The angel rolled his eyes. Dean suppressed a smirk. "Women. Sex, etcetera."

Their eyes met.

"Well, you've been giving her all the wrong messages then," Dean said, not breaking eye contact.

"No I haven't. I don't even know how to flirt," Cas said, starting to get annoyed.

"Okay. She's gonna give you her number along with the bill. What do you owe me then?"

"More importantly, what do I get when she doesn't?" Cas said with a sly glint in his eye.

"A kiss," Dean joked, before realising that he probably shouldn't have. "I mean, uh.. you know. It was a joke."

"I'm aware."

Aaaand back to the awkward silence. God, if this elephant was any bigger Dean thought the universe might just collapse on itself.

Kimberly –  _Kim_  – came back with the food then. She stuck her ass in Cas' face as she put down Dean's breakfast before him, and then turned around, putting Cas' coffee in front of him.

"If there's anything else I can do for you, just give me a call," she then said, winking.

Dean waited until she was out of earshot. "Dude, she is so gonna give you her number. Come on, take it from the expert."

Cas pursed his lips. "Even if she does, it doesn't matter. I have no use for it."

"Aw, come on! You should call her," the hunter said before realising what was coming out of his mouth. "I mean, you know.. if you want. If you don't, that's cool," he ended up mumbling.

Well, this wasn't right. Cas had every right to hook up with whomever he wanted. Dean knew that. Then what was this knotted feeling tightening in his chest whenever he thought of Cas with someone else?

"I got all my powers back," Cas said suddenly after taking a sip of his coffee. Dean was grateful for the subject change.

"Really? That's awesome." He started digging into his pancakes.

"Yeah. Apparently the bond was.. draining the little Grace I had from my body."

"It was sucking you dry of your powers?" Dean asked, frowning.

Cas hesitated before nodding.

"Why the fuck didn't you ever tell me?" he snapped.

"What difference would it have made?" the angel snapped back.

Dean cringed, thinking of Cas suffering in silence the entire time, not ever letting on how much it was actually hurting him while Dean couldn't stop complaining about himself. He sighed.

"Look, Cas.. I'm sorry. I was a dick like 90% of the time while you couldn't help it and you were hurting even more than I was," he said quietly.

Cas looked up at him. "It's.. it's fine, Dean. It's in the past. We don't need to worry about it any more."

Jesus, if only that were true.

As they paid for their food, Dean lifted the bill. And, sure enough, a piece of paper was under it, a number scribbled onto it hastily. As they walked out to the parking lot, Dean waved it in front of Cas' face.

The angel gave a lopsided smile, digging his hands into his pockets.

"I told you to always listen to the expert, Cas," Dean said gleefully.

"Can I have it?" Cas asked suddenly.

"What? Why?" the hunter asked, all of his playfulness gone.

"I just.. I don't know. I might call her," Cas said emotionlessly, although there was something off with the tone of his voice.

Dean actually caught himself wanting to reach into his pockets for his lighter to destroy that fucking piece of paper.

"Sure," he said instead, handing it over to Cas.

Their hands brushed, and Dean shivered slightly. "I thought you weren't into that stuff, Cas?"

The angel shrugged. "I'm not. I just wanted to see the look on your face."

Dean froze, staring at him. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" he exclaimed then.

Cas smirked – actually full-on  _smirked_  – and walked towards the car. Dean just stared at him, his mouth agape.

He was fucked.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback everyone, enjoy!

Dean opened the door, and paused.

"Oh. Didn't think you'd be showing your face again."

"Well, here I am, Dean-o. Hiya, little bro," Gabriel grinned.

Castiel nodded at him.

"Cas! It's good to see you again!" Sam says, pleasantly surprised.

"Hello, Sam."

"It's been a while. What have you been up to, man?"

"I was dealing with things in Heaven." Like always.

"How's that been workin' out for ya, huh?" Gabriel said with a smirk.

Cas didn't reply, his eyes turning to the ground. Dean wanted to punch Gabriel in the face, no matter what it did to his hand.

"What's that smell?" Sam said, breaking the tension. He looked way too cheerful, way too early.

"Brought you breakfast," Dean replied, tossing the bag at his head.

"Awesome. Thanks."

"Yeah, don't mention it. What's up?" he said, eyeing Gabriel and Sam with slightly narrowed eyes.

"Nothing, Gabe just swung by. We think we've sorta located the vamps, by the way. Well, we know where they're getting all their vics from."

As Cas went to stand next to Sam and his laptop, Dean carefully approached Gabriel.

"Gabriel," he muttered.

The archangel raised an eyebrow at him.

"I need to talk to you. Alone," he said quietly, doing his best not to attract Cas' and Sam's attention.

"What? You need to talk to me? Alone?! All righty then!" Gabriel yelled cheerfully, clapping Dean on the back before leaving the room.

Sam and Cas looked up at Dean, frowning. He was going to kill that little shit. He quickly left the room, fuming, and slammed the door behind him.

He turned around to see the douchebag grinning brightly up at him, munching on a chocolate bar. Dean clenched his fists, breathing in through his nose.  _Don't punch him. Don't punch him. Don't punch him._

"Gabriel," he said through gritted teeth.

"What can I do for you, ya big jerk?" Gabriel asked cheerfully, licking his fingers.

"I need to ask you something."

The angel looked at him expectantly. He raised his eyebrows when the hunter didn't reply. "Well? I ain't got all day."

"All right, look.." Dean muttered, "You know that uh.. bond thing?"

A weird smile appeared on Gabriel's face. "What about it?"

"Uhh.. I was wondering.." He swallowed, looking down at his hands. "Does it.. does it leave any kind of residue?"

Gabriel blinked. "Uh, what?"

"You know." He studied the carpet underneath his boots with great interest. "Some kind of after effect, or something."

Gabriel's eyes narrowed. "Like what?"

"I don't know! Like, still feeling some things.." he trailed off, mumbling.

After a long moment of silence, he looked up to see a smirk on Gabriel's face. Within seconds, it was gone again, replaced by a huge eye roll.

"Of fucking course not, you idiotic, mentally retarded dipshit. There's nothing left of the bond inside the pair of you. Not a fucking trace."

Dean blinked. Oh.

"Oh."

"Okay, are we done wasting my time?" Gabriel didn't wait for an answer, disappearing into thin air with a loud rustling of wings.

Shit. Dean shook his head, clearing it, and ran a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath before opening the door again. He would have laughed at Sam and Cas' confused faces if he hadn't been feeling so weird.

"Uh.. Dean?"

He blinked. "Yeah."

"What was that about?" Sam asked, frown heavy on his brow.

"Nothin'."

"Why did you want to speak to Gabe alone?" Sam persisted.

The little tyke just didn't know when to shut up.

"Look, Sam, it was nothing. If it was important, I would have told you, all right?" Dean snapped.

He turned around, opening the door again.

"Where are you going?" Sam called.

"For a walk," he said curtly, before slamming the door shut behind him.

Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Gabriel was lying. He had to be. He was a self absorbed little prick who loved to fuck with people's minds, of course he was lying.

This was what he was trying to convince himself as he walked through town. It was quiet since it was still the crack of fucking dawn, and he found himself greatly enjoying the serenity. He wasn't exactly sure where he was, but he figured he'd find his way back.

He was becoming tired though, but he didn't want to go back just yet.

Dean spotted a park, much to his joy, and he sat down on one of the benches with a grunt. He leaned back, enjoying the gentle sun in his face, and closed his eyes.

As Dean sat there in the complete silence, he couldn't stop the flow of thoughts pour into his mind.

What the hell was going on with him? He knew he didn't  _actually_.. feel things for Castiel. It was definitely the bond, some weird human reaction to it. It would pass quickly. He hoped. But thinking those thoughts didn't stop the weird fluttering in his stomach whenever Cas turned his piercing blue eyes on him. It didn't stop the shiver running down his spine when their hands accidentally brushed. It didn't stop him wanting to shove Cas over a tabletop and fuck him until he begged for mercy.

Woah. Back up.

What the fuck was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to avoid Cas entirely? He could feel his heart clench at the thought. Well, that was out of the question. He supposed he would.. just act as if nothing was going on. As usual. He'd give it a week. If it wasn't over by then, he'd -

"Dean."

Dean jumped up, gasping. Oh, for fuck's sake.

"How many times do I have to tell you to not creep up on me like that!" he snarled, clutching his chest.

"My apologies. I hadn't realised you were so absorbed in your thoughts to hear me," Cas said in that gravelly, serious voice of his.

"Ugh, Jesus," he groaned, running a hand over his face. "How the hell did you know where I was, anyway?"

Cas looked away, as if the sky had suddenly become the most interesting thing he had ever seen in his entire existence. "I.. followed you. I was worried."

Dean rolled his eyes, trying to compensate for the flush rising on his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

"Thanks, Mom, but I'm fine. I can go for walks all by myself now. I'm a big boy."

Cas frowned at him. "Dean.."

"All right, all right. Well, like you can see, I'm fine," the hunter snapped. He was really not in the mood for this now.

Cas leaned back, digging his hands into his pockets. "You don't want to see me."

Dean felt guilt run deep and cold through his veins. "No, listen Cas.. I'm not feeling so great at the moment, okay?"

Castiel nodded after a moment. "I understand." He stood up to leave.

"Wait," Dean muttered, hand shooting out to grasp Cas' wrist. The angel looked at him in confusion.

"Actually, on second thought, I could use some company, I guess," he said, looking directly at Cas.

The latter stared back at him, before nodding slowly and sitting back down next to him. Dean didn't release his wrist. His grip gentled, and he started stroking the inside of Cas' wrist softly with his thumb.

He saw the faint shiver run through Castiel, and he started stroking slow, gentle circles. The angel turned his head to look at him, huge blue eyes piercing right through his own. Their faces were ridiculously close. It would be so easy for him to close that tiny gap, to press his lips against Cas', gently at first but then quickening the pace, tasting him, feeling him..

Cas turned his head, staring at the park before them. Dean let go of his wrist, running his hands through his hair.

"So, uh.." he said awkwardly, scratching at his neck, "Sam said he knew where the vamps were getting their victims. Did he tell you where?"

Cas nodded, not looking at him. "He said the victims had all been taken from the bar down the road of the hotel."

"When the fuck did he have time to do all this research?" Dean muttered.

"Well, you've been quite.. distant, Dean. A lot of things have been going on. Maybe you just haven't noticed because you were too busy with other things."

"Huh," he replied drily.

Cas looked up at him. "Are you all right?"

Dean smiled bitterly. "Just peachy, Cas. Peachy."

The angel frowned. "Dean, what -"

"Cas, don't. Please. Just don't."

He reached out, touching Cas' cheekbone before he could stop himself. Cas stared at him, his face an emotionless mask.

"Let's just not talk about it. Not now," Dean murmured, brushing along Cas' cheek with his thumb.

Not now. Not ever.

Cas blinked at him, his eyes completely devoid of any sign of emotion. Dean dropped his hand, shaking his head.

"I gotta get back to Sam," he then muttered, standing up.

"Dean.."

He turned around, not quite looking Cas in the eye. There was a pause.

"I'll bring you. It will save time," the angel then said quietly.

Dean huffed a bitter chuckle. "I'll pass. See ya."

He then turned around and walked away, not looking back once.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Dean almost felt sorry for Sam when he opened the door. He was lying on one of the beds, staring at the TV with empty, bored eyes. He jumped up as soon as he saw Dean.

"Dean," he exclaimed, walking over to his older brother.

"Hey. Sorry about before, man. I wasn't feelin' great. I just needed some air," Dean said, ruffling Sam's hair, much to the latter's annoyance.

"Did Cas speak to you? He said he was gonna see where you were headed," he said with a frown.

Dean cleared his throat. "Yeah. It's fine."

There was a pause.

"Uhh.. where is he?" Sam then asked with raised eyebrows.

"I don't know. Angel business, I guess. Anyway, he told me what you told him. About the vampires."

Sam shook his head. "Uh, yeah. The bar's called The Playpen."

Dean grimaced. "Jesus, that's disturbing."

"Yeah. Anyway, we should check it out tonight."

"Sure. We got enough dead man's blood?"

"We should check the trunk, but I think so," Sam nodded.

"Good."

Dean lay down on his bed, closing his eyes and getting comfortable.

"Hey.. Dean?"

"Yeah."

"Do you.. what's going on with you, dude?"

Dean opened one eye. "What?"

"You've been acting weird ever since Gabe broke that bond. Especially around Cas. There's something going on with you, man. I'm not blind."

Dean groaned. "Sam, really? There's nothing going on! Drop it."

"Look, Dean, the only reason I'm bringing this up at this very moment is because it's probably the only moment in a long time we'll be alone. Unless you want me to bring it up with Cas here, or Gabriel even?"

"Fuck, no!" he yelled, jumping up. Anything but Gabriel.

Sam leaned back with a smug look on his face, the little shit.

"So.." he drawled.

Dean glared at him. "Fuck you, Sam. Seriously."

Sam didn't reply, the corners of his lips twitching. Dean heaved a huge sigh.

"Listen. I'm not sure what's going on, okay? Just.. just give me some time to figure some stuff out. I'll get back to ya," he muttered.

Sam leaned forward, the smug look on his face replaced by a worried frown. "Dean.. you'd tell me if there was anything seriously wrong, right?"

Dean glanced up at him, flashing him a brief smile. "'Course, Sammy. Don't you worry about me."

Sam opened his mouth, but at that moment Castiel himself decided to make his entrance. He appeared in the middle of the room, his face as earnest as always. Dean's toes curled up in his boots, and he kicked them off and rolled over, showing them his back. He closed his eyes again.

"Uh. Hey, Cas," Sam said uncomfortably.

"Hello, Sam. Dean."

Dean grunted in acknowledgement. There was a moment of silence. He didn't want to look at Cas' face, or even Sam's for that matter. Cas cleared his throat – wait, what? His eyes opened at the unusual sound. He'd never heard Cas do anything as human as clear his throat, before.

"Have you thought of a plan yet?" the angel asked, his voice no different than usual.

Ugh. Why couldn't they just leave him alone to sulk and sleep.

"Well, sort of. We were planning on going into the bar tonight, just to take a look," Sam replied.

"I'll come with you."

Dean's eyes flew open. Please, no.

"Uhh, thanks, Cas, but it's not really necessary. We're not actually going hunting, we just want to check out the place first. And we can handle a couple of vampires," Sam said with a smile.

Bless his soul.

"You weren't handling them too well a few weeks ago," Cas replied stonily.

Burn. Fuck.

He turned around, opening his eyes.

"We would have been fine without your help, Cas, so you can just get off your high and mighty horse right now. Yeah, you helped us, yeah, we thanked you. That was one time. We were caught off guard. We're more than capable of taking out a couple of vamps," he snapped.

Cas blinked at him, a flash of hurt appearing and disappearing in his eyes. It was quickly replaced with anger.

"As happy as I am that you've stopped your immature ignoring session, I'd rather you wouldn't speak to me like that when you know I'm right."

"I don't know squat," Dean snarled back. Wait, shit, that didn't come out right. "I mean, about you. I don't know about you being right. You're wrong!"

He heard Sam groan into his hand. Cas just narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth to reply. Dean didn't give him the chance.

"What are you even still doing here, anyway? The bond's been broken. You've got angel stuff to deal with, so go deal with it and leave me alone. If we need any angelic guidance, we've got Gabriel."

Shit. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew he'd crossed a line. That was low. Sam was completely silent for once, just staring at him with a slightly open mouth. Cas looked at him, his eyes wide and huge. Dean knew he should apologise while he still could, but his stubbornness wouldn't let him.

Cas took a deep breath, glancing at Sam and then the ground. He gave a small nod and then disappeared.

"Dude, you suck."

"Shut up, bitch."

"Whatever, jerk. You two'd better sort out your domestic issues, or I'm gonna rip my hair out."

"Good. That stupid Rapunzel haircut of yours is driving me up the wall."

Sam rolled his eyes, and Dean turned around again, refusing to let guilt engulf him.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"Well, that was a total waste of a perfectly good night," Dean grumbled as they got into the car.

Sam shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, man. Must have messed up somewhere. Guess that means more digging," he sighed.

"Wrong bar," Dean scoffed, shaking his head. "This is what happens when the dumber brother does all the work."

"Oh, shut up, Dean. At least I was doing something. You were too busy being in your own little soap opera with Cas."

"Shut up!"

Sam smirked a little at his own wit, and they were silent for a few minutes while they drove.

"By the way.." Dean began.

Sam looked up, curious.

"I think I'm gonna take another room tonight by myself. I don't feel so well," he continued. Lame excuse, and Sam knew it.

He nodded, though. "All right."

They continued in comfortable silence, getting out at the motel. Dean went to the receptionist to get another room, and Sam went up and gathered Dean's toiletries together for him.

He handed them to him when he entered the room.

"Thanks, Sammy," Dean said gratefully as he took the stuff from his little brother.

"No problem. Now get your ass into that other room," Sam replied, a knowing glint in his eye.

"Oh Sam, I get all tingly when you talk to me like that," his older brother smirked, and he turned around to leave.

"Hang on, you didn't get the room right next to this one, right?" Sam asked suddenly.

"Uh, no, it's down the hallway. Why?"

"Okay, good. Just think of the neighbours when you get busy, okay?"

The only response that got was a mobile phone thrown at his head.

Later that night, Dean sat on his bed, head in his hands. It was dark, and he hadn't bothered to turn on the light. The curtains were drawn from the window, though, and the moon shining through the glass illuminated the room. It was so deathly quiet he thought he could hear his blood pumping.

All right, he had to do this. He cleared his throat.

"Cas?" Dean murmured. "Cas, could you please get down here? I.. need to speak to you."

He waited a few moments. Nothing.

"Castiel, have you got your ears on? Come on, man. Please. I gotta talk to you."

He waited some more. Still nothing. Finally accepting that Cas officially thought he was a complete dick and never wanted to see him again, he kicked off his boots, his T-shirt following.

He crawled into bed, feeling miserable. He closed his eyes.

"I'm such a piece of fucking shit," Dean said out loud to himself. "A piece. Of fucking. Shit."

"Some people would disagree."

The hunter started, opening his eyes to see Cas standing at the foot of the bed, his hands in his pockets. His face was unreadable as ever. It was silent for a few moments.

"Would you?" he then asked, his voice rough.

Cas looked down. "Not at the moment."

Dean nodded, standing up. He slowly neared the angel, as if he was some kind of animal that would run away if he made any sudden movements.

"What do you want, Dean? You made yourself quite clear when you said I wasn't necessary any more," he then said coldly.

"Cas -"

"No. There isn't anything I want to hear from you. If you need anything, you've got Gabriel. What could you possibly want from me, Dean Winchester?" Cas continued, his voice so icy Dean was surprised his breath wasn't coming out in clouds.

"There's nothing you want to hear from me?" Dean asked quietly, stopping just a few inches away from Cas.

The latter narrowed his eyes. "No."

"Nothing at all?"

Cas frowned. "No!"

Dean gave him a small smile. "Then why did you come when I called?"

Cas blinked at him, his mouth opening and closing. It looked hilarious. It made Dean want to kiss him.

"Look, Cas.." he began softly.

The angel turned away, facing towards the window, but it didn't matter.

"I'm a dick. I really am. Especially when I'm not sure about.. important stuff. When I'm not sure about feelings. I become a total douchebag to anyone I care about because I don't know how to deal."

"That doesn't excuse -"

"Of course it doesn't. It doesn't excuse anything. It doesn't change anything. Cas.."

He paused, touching Cas' shoulder. The latter turned carefully, his eyes slightly narrowed.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't mean a word of it. You mean the world to me, and more, Cas. I want you around. All the time. I don't care if you hang around us without a specific reason. I want you to be there. You.. I need you, man," he broke off, his hand cupping the side of Cas' face.

The angel just stared at him, and fuck, his cheeks were turning slightly pink. Dean didn't even know it was possible for an angel to blush, but fuck him if it wasn't the most amazing thing he'd ever seen.

Dean pushed gently forward, pushing Cas against the wall, his other hand coming up to cup the other side of his face.

"Cas?" Jesus, he sounded like a two dollar whore.

"Dean?" Damn it, his wrecked voice was going straight to Dean's groin.

"I'm gonna kiss you now."

Cas nodded.

Dean practically crashed their mouths together. Cas let out a small groan, and his arms came around Dean's waist and pulled him roughly against his own body.

The hunter brushed his tongue along Cas' lower lip, before nipping at it hungrily with his teeth. The angel shuddered against him, fingers digging into his bare back. Cas opened his mouth, and Dean's tongue claimed his mouth immediately.

Cas put his hand on the scar on Dean's shoulder, and a loud moan escaped his throat before he could stop himself, pulling a shudder from his whole body. Cas echoed the sound, pressing harder. Dean angled his head, deepening the kiss hungrily.

Cas shrugged out of his trench coat, not breaking the kiss once. Dean lifted him up, holding his waist, and the angel wrapped his legs around him, crotches rubbing together.

"Fuck," Dean hissed, lips still touching Castiel's.

Cas answered it with a growl, rolling his hips. Dean felt his knees weaken, and he quickly carried Cas to the bed, still not breaking the kiss.

He dropped him inelegantly onto the bed, not giving a fuck as he shimmied out of his jeans and covered Cas' body with his own. It was then that it occurred to him that he was now practically naked, and Cas was still wearing most of his clothes.

He tugged the suit jacket off, throwing it across the room somewhere. He finally broke away, leaning up to stare at the angel. His lips were slightly swollen and shiny with their saliva, his pupils huge. He looked disheveled and rough, and fuck if it didn't turn Dean on.

He slowly pulled off Cas' tie, not breaking eye contact the entire time. As he started on Cas' buttons, the latter let out a frustrated sound.

"Hurry up," he snapped, his voice breathless and wrecked.

Dean couldn't stop the small grin that crept on his face. "Let's take our time. We hurried last time." He wanted to do it right.

Cas leaned up on his elbows, kissing the hunter deeply. Dean slowly unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it gently off of his shoulders. He then broke away from Cas' mouth to move to his neck.

He kissed the pale skin, nipped at it with his teeth, licked at it. He relished every single sound that poured from Cas' lips.

Dean's teeth grazed along his collarbone. He then planted an open-mouthed kiss on Cas' nipple before gently licking it, occasionally including his teeth, feeling it harden in his mouth. He did the same to the other nipple, taking his sweet time.

He moved down along his ribcage, kissing and biting where he went. He dipped his tongue into Cas' navel, kissing his way down to his crotch.

Dean pulled slowly at the belt, and Cas huffed. The next thing Dean knew, Cas was completely naked.

"Hey, not fair," he chuckled.

Dean kissed his way around Cas' member, causing the mighty angel of the Lord to be reduced to a whimpering mess.

"Dean," he gasped, rolling his hip forward.

Finally, Dean took Cas into his mouth. His tongue brushed along the tip, and he started sucking. Jesus, he could come just from the sounds Cas was making. Trembling hands dug into his hair, and he started sucking harder, his head going down.

Suddenly, he was being pulled up roughly, lips smashing violently into his own. His underwear was torn from his body, and flung across the room. He was about to make some smart-ass remark about Cas taking control before the latter cupped his crotch, making whatever he was going to say turn into a loud moan.

Cas rubbed slowly, and if Dean didn't watch out he was going to come right here and now like some kind of teenager.

"Dean," Cas panted in his ear.

"Cas," he replied, his voice no more than a breathy moan.

"Dean, I need you.. now, please.."

Oh.

Cas wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, pushing him towards him. The hunter touched Cas' face, his hair, his jaw.

"Don't we.. don't we need, like, lube or something.."

"Dean, I'm an angel. Please!"

Cas' demanding tone made him shiver, and he circled a finger around the angel's entrance. He slowly pushed in, relishing the moans Cas made when he bent his finger a particular way. Soon, another finger followed, and then another. Cas was basically riding his fingers now, and he was pretty sure Sam could hear the moans even from where his room was.

All right. Enough.

He leaned down, hitching Cas' hips up. Slowly, so slowly, he pushed himself inside, letting out a loud groan from the pure pleasure erupting down there.

"Oh God, Cas," he panted.

Cas managed to glare at him even through this, but any snappy remark he was about to make about blaspheme evaporated when Dean started moving. His legs squeezed Dean's waist rather painfully as he pushed him deeper, fingers clawing at his back.

Dean leaned his face down, his lips next to Cas' ear. He took the chance to nibble and kiss his ear and the soft patch of skin below it. Cas's hand came up to the back of his head, pressing him closer.

"Dean," he panted as Dean moved in and out. "Dean, Dean, Dean.."

"Cas.." Dean murmured in his ear, running his hands up and down Cas' body slowly.

Dean reached down in between them to grasp Cas' member, rubbing to match his thrusts. Cas' mouth fell open, his eyes glazed at his stared at Dean, rolling his hips harshly. Cas turned his head then, biting and sucking on Dean's neck through his moans, and that was it.

His mouth opened in a silent scream, eyes squeezed shut as pure bliss exploded within him. He clung onto Cas, mumbling and groaning and growling and moaning in his ear, pressing himself as close to the angel as he could.

Soon after, he heard Cas gasp, and he felt wet warmth on his stomach as Cas came, legs locking around him as they rode out their orgasms.

"Dean, you.." Cas choked, before breaking off to moan again.

Dean kissed him, sloppily and deeply. The kiss became gentler as they both came down from their high. Finally, Dean pulled out and broke away, staring at the angel below him. There were no words.

He leaned down, and kissed Cas' nose. Then he kissed his eyelids, his cheekbones, the dip between his top lip and nose. Cas looked up at him, a small smile tugging at his lips.

God, Sam was right. It was like they were in some kind of soap. Cas looked at him, confused, as he started grinning to himself like an idiot.

"What's funny?" he asked, voice still rough and so, so fucking sexy, god damn it.

"Nothin', Cas. Let's just sleep."

"But you know I don't-"

Dean pressed a finger against Cas' lips. "Shh. Sleep."


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback, enjoy.

Dean rolled over, his mind still a hazy, sleepy blur. He vaguely noticed how much space he seemed to have, giving a happy groan and stretching his legs out over the whole bed. He was cold, so he pulled the covers up more. It was all good. Except it wasn't.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes and sitting up, trying to figure out what was wrong with the picture. He looked around blearily. Sammy. Where the fuck – right, they'd gotten separate rooms. Why though?

Dean chewed his lip, trying to remember. His face cleared. Oh yeah! It was because he and Cas – oh.  _Oh_.

"Son of a bitch," he murmured, more incredulous than anything else.

Cas wasn't there. He'd gone. He'd just – left.

Dean stared at nothing for a while, trying very very hard not to completely lose it. No, come on. There had to be some kind of logical explanation. He'd probably just.. gone to get breakfast. Yeah. Because there was no way in fucking hell that Cas would just leave after yesterday, right?

A hard knocking on the door made him jump, and a grin broke out on his face. See? There was nothing to worry about. He was just a paranoid little bitch.

He opened the door, still grinning. "Cas, buddy, I thought you -"

Sam stared at him with raised eyebrows. Dean faltered. He cleared his throat.

"Hey."

"Uh, hey Dean. So.. I'm just gonna go ahead an assume Cas isn't with you?"

Dean turned around, his back to Sam. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to recollect himself before turning back around to Sam with a cheery grin.

"Nope. Guess he must have taken off."

He turned around again, letting the grin slide off his face as he walked towards the bathroom.

"I'm gonna have a shower. You want to get breakfast?"

Sam looked at him, frowning. After a few moments, he quietly said, "Yeah."

It wasn't until Sam had gone that Dean punched the bathroom mirror so hard it shattered into pieces.

Later that day, the brothers were having lunch in a diner. Dean was silent, playing around with his chips and not paying attention to Sam's chatter.

"So then I ate the shoe and started shitting rainbows."

"Uhuh."

"I also decided to start growing a vagina. I got the seeds and everything."

"Right."

"Vagina seeds. To grow a vagina."

"Cool."

"You wanna help me water it?"

"Sure."

Sam slapped Dean on the head. "For fuck's sake! You haven't been listening to a word I've been saying since we left the motel, have you?"

"Uh.. no."

The youngest Winchester sighed. "Look, Dean. Let's talk about this."

Dean took a bite from his burger. "Let's not."

"Damn it, Dean. I'm sure he had a perfectly good reason for leaving. This just.. isn't like Cas, right?"

Dean shrugged. "Good reason or no, it doesn't change the fact that he just left. He could have at least woken me up. But, y'know, whatever. If that's how it is, it's fine by me."

"Shut up. No it's not, you lying coward. This is just your 'I'm so hurt I'm gonna pretend I don't give a single shit' move. You can't fool me, Dean," Sam said sternly.

He was rewarded by a chip being chucked at his face.

"Mature."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

"Right, you done having your Dr Phil moment? 'Cause I'd like to get along with the case," the eldest Winchester snapped.

"Whatever, Dean. This conversation isn't over."

"So, got any new leads?" Dean smirked, completely ignoring the last comment.

Sam glared at him before sighing. "No. I can't seem to get a hold of Gabe, so he can't help either."

"Aww, your boyfriend finally ditched ya?"

"I'd really not say anything if I were you."

Dean realised Sam was right, and he took another bite from his burger. They were silent for some time.

"Hey, Sammy?"

"Yeah?"

"Wanna go out tonight? We haven't hit a bar in ages, man."

"You went to a bar only last -"

"You know what I mean! C'mon man, we need some time to relax. Just the two of us."

Sam smiled at him. "I'm going to have to pass, Dean. I'm pretty fucking tired. How 'bout next week, yeah?"

Dean forced a smile back. "Sure, Sammy. Come on, let's go."

And that's how he ended up sitting alone at the bar in The fucking Playpen, since it was the closest to the motel room.

"What can I get you, hun?" the barmaid asked.

Dean eyed her vaguely. She was attractive, he supposed. She was caramel-skinned, and had the most striking blue eyes. He refused to believe they reminded him of someone.

_You're thinking of rebound sex? Seriously, Dean?_

He shook off his conscience, smiling at her. "Just a beer, sweetheart."

She handed him his beer, leaning down on the counter. "The name's Shannon."

"Dean."

"What brings you here, Dean?" Shannon asked, smiling.

"Oh, you know. Just passing through," he answered, taking a swig from his beer.

"I saw you here a couple of days ago with another guy, didn't I? The really tall one?" Shannon asked curiously, eyeing his drink.

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, that would be my sasquatch of a brother, Sam." He paused, blinking slowly. "It's not.. it's not very busy in here, is it?"

Was it him or was it getting seriously hot in here?

"Well, that may have to do with the fact that it's the middle of the week," Shannon laughed.

Her laugh echoed through Dean's head as he closed his eyes and shook his head. He opened them again, trying to focus on her face but everything kept going all blurry.

"You want another drink, hun?" she asked, smiling and running her hand down his neck.

"No.. no, I'm – I'm good," Dean managed to slur.

He noticed the few people who were scattered across the place starting to near him. He saw, rather than felt, himself slipping off the stool and onto the ground, five or six people around him, Shannon one of them.

"What the.." he mumbled, his tongue like cotton in his mouth.

He heard a snarl and then everything went black.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

When Dean came to, his arms were chained above his head and his head was thumping horribly. He was in a dark, cold room, his breath coming in small clouds before him. The situation dawned on him.

"Fuck," he rasped, tugging on the chains.

Dean took deep breaths, willing himself to calm down. Right. Okay. He'd been in worse situations, right? He closed his eyes again, trying to remember exactly what had happened.

He remembered.. flirting just a little bit with the barmaid.. getting a drink..

And then waking up here, a dark, stuffy room that smelled of mould with his arms chained above his head. Fucking typical.

His thoughts were interrupted, however, by the door opening. He immediately went as still as possible. The now open door let in a stream of dim light. Dean frowned up at the silhouette walking towards him.

He assumed it was a guy, since it was big and bulky. Dean's hackles rose, and he started tugging furiously at the chains.

The next moment his body was being pressed down, and he yelled as he felt needle-like teeth sink into his arm.

The teeth sunk deeper into his skin, and he gasped as he felt the blood being sucked from his body.

Dean had been so consumed by pain that he hadn't noticed more vampires entering the room until teeth were sinking into every inch of his body.

He heard a blood-curling scream. He realised it was his.

Dean tried to fight them off desperately, but it was no use. They were holding him down so firmly that he couldn't even move his head.

He felt one of them bite into his side, sucking and lapping at the blood coming free. Another one in his neck. Another one in his wrist. His calf. His shoulder.

Dean was shuddering and moaning, his ears filled with his own sounds of pain and the vampires' appreciative hums and lapping and sucking. His nose was filled with the scent of his own blood.

"All right, that's enough. We don't want him to be drained in one go, do we?"

Through the red mist of blood and pain that engulfed his mind, he vaguely recognised the voice. It didn't strike him as important enough to try and remember, though. He let out a shuddering gasp as the teeth left his body. His eyes fell closed, as every bit of him bled and pulsed and trembled.

"You can have more later, my lovelies. Leave us," the cold voice said, barely registering with Dean.

He gasped as cold water got thrown into his face, his eyes flying open. Slowly but surely, they focused on the woman crouching in front of him.

Caramel-skinned, brown, curly hair. Piercing blue eyes.

"Hey there, Dean," she smiled at him, running a finger along his cheek.

"Shannon," he coughed through gritted teeth.

"Actually, it's Alisha."

Dean spat some blood at her. "Like I could give a shit," he snarled, although it came out a lot less intimidating than he'd meant, due to his cracking voice and trembling limbs.

"Poor, poor Dean," Alisha sighed, shaking her head. "You're not so strong on your own, are you? Without your brother. Or your angel."

Dean flinched, forcing himself to keep quiet.

"It just took one little slip-up, and look at you now. You're going to die, and no one you love is ever going to see you again," she said pleasantly. "We're going to suck you dry, until all that's left of you is a shell."

"What do you want?" Dean slurred, blood still running down his chin and his tongue feeling thick. Maybe she'd want to bargain. He really hoped she'd want to bargain.

But she just laughed.

"We don't want anything, Dean. We couldn't fucking care less that you're 'the' Dean Winchester. You don't seem so impressive to me at all. No, you're just another brainless sack of meat. A sack of meat filled with delicious blood, to be exact."

She leaned down, licking the blood from Dean's chin. He flinched weakly, turning his head.

"We're going to go slow with you," Alisha then whispered into his ear, her curls tickling his neck. "We're going to make the great Dean Winchester suffer, and then we're going to let your little brother and boyfriend find you. That's what you get for poking around in our business."

Dean remembered that first night, how everything had seemed completely normal at The Playpen. So they'd known all along what they were doing. They had just been waiting for a good time to strike out.

And boy, had they found it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback, enjoy.

"Dean, where the fuck are you? Just.. call me when you wake up, all right?" Sam sighed into the phone.

He should have known Dean would take the first chance he got to get himself into a girl's pants. Of course he would, he was hurt and was going to pretend like he didn't care. As always. Jesus Christ. Sam dialled Dean's number again angrily as an afterthought.

"Dean, I am sick of you and your emotional constipation! If you're still screwing around with some chick, I swear to God I will hunt you down myself," he snapped.

Then he dialled Castiel's number.

"Cas, you need to get down here right now, wherever you are. You and me need to have a serious talk."

He sat back on his chair then, tossing his phone across the room. He was so fucking tired of playing a baby sitter.

By noon, Sam was starting to get worried. Dean's phone was still ringing out every time he called, and it wasn't like him to stay at someone's house till that late. He was usually the fuck 'em and leave 'em type of guy.

He decided to go to the bar to see if they'd have any idea where he'd gone.

Sam walked inside, approaching the attractive girl cleaning out the glasses. He cleared his throat.

"Excuse me."

The girl glanced up, smiling at him. She had dimples, and striking blue eyes. Sam thought that he'd might have to hit that when he'd found Dean.

"Can I help you, hun?"

"Yeah, actually. Uh, I'm looking for someone. I don't know if you remember, but I was here a few days ago with my brother."

The girl narrowed her eyes, thinking. "Yeah, I remember. He was a bit shorter than you, right?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah. He came here yesterday, do you know if he left with anyone? Or where he went, or whatever?"

The girl raised her eyebrows. "I haven't seen him yesterday, sweetheart. I was here all night, so I would've noticed. Sorry."

Sam's shoulders sagged. "Right. Thanks."

"No problem, honey. I'll make sure to ask around," she replied, her brow furrowing with worry.

He gave her an appreciative smile. "Thanks a lot."

With that, he left, anxiety gnawing in his stomach.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

He didn't know if it had been hours, or days, or weeks since he was dumped here. He couldn't feel his arms from where they were still hanging above him, his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and he was so weak he could barely twitch a finger. His entire body throbbed and hurt.

The vampires came in every now and then to feed on Dean. He had lost count. He was sure his entire body was completely covered with bite-marks by now.

He didn't let himself lose hope, though. He wasn't counting on Cas, but he knew Sammy would come and find him. He just knew it. He had to.

Dean blinked when the door opened, his heart sinking. It hadn't even been that long since their last feed. But to his surprise, someone got thrown in. His first thought had him clenching his fists. No.  _Sam._

But to Dean's sick relief, he noticed the grunts coming from the person were distinctly female. The door slammed shut again. The girl groaned and cursed. Dean couldn't see her, but he could hear she was pretty close to him.

"Son of a fucking bitch!"

He immediately took a liking to her.

"Hey," he croaked, making the girl gasp.

"Wha.. who are you?" she asked, her voice trembling.

Dean took a deep breath, collecting himself. "I'm Dean."

"Emma," the girl said after a pause. Emma hesitated again. "You're.. you're not one of them, are you?"

"No, I'm not." He stopped, breathing slowly. Even this was exhausting him.

"Hey, are you okay?"

He heard her crawl over to him. He heard more rustling, then he hissed as a light was shining into his face.

"Shit! Sorry!" Emma gasped, quickly diverting the light.

Dean squinted at it. "Is that a phone?"

"Yeah." She paused, checking something, then sighed. "Woah, shocker. No signal."

As she looked at her phone, the light illuminating her features, Dean studied her. God, she was young. She couldn't be older than.. 18, tops. Her eye was swollen and purple, there was blood crusting under her nose and on her lips and chin. There was a deep gash in her cheek. Brown eyes and blonde hair. In a tiny way, she reminded him of Jo.

Emma suddenly turned the phone towards him, shining the light on his body.

"Jesus," she muttered, her eyes trailing all over his body. "Are.. are you okay?"

Dean didn't want to see it.

"I'm fine. Emma, how did you end up here?"

She shook her head. "Let's see if we can get you out of these fucking chains first.." she said quietly, shining her phone on his wrists.

"Emma, it's got a lock. They've got the key. There's no way these things are coming off, believe me," Dean breathed, his voice failing him.

When he had still been stronger, he'd tried banging them onto the wall, scraping the metal along the bricks in an attempt to weaken it, even just desperately tried to pull as hard as he could, but nothing helped. There wasn't anything he could use to pick the lock with, either, and he had just given up at one point. It wasn't like it would change anything.

To his faint surprise, Emma smirked, and reached back. She pulled a bobby pin from her hair and he let out a small laugh.

"Can you do anything with this?" she asked, brushing some hair out of her eyes.

"Fuck, yes," Dean muttered.

Emma leaned forward and carefully, warily, pressed the pin into Dean's trembling fingers. It took a few long minutes but he finally heard the faint 'click' and his arms slid down to hang limply by his sides.

Emma stared. "How often have you done that, exactly?"

Dean just shook his head, trying to move his arms, and failing. He noticed Emma's worried stare. "Don't worry about it. I've been chained up for a while."

She put the pin back in her hair.

"Thanks," he whispered.

"No problem," she replied, picking up her phone and shining it around the room.

Dean shut his eyes.

"Fuck, there's no way we're getting out of here.. not even a fucking window."

He heard some banging, and cracked open an eye to see her kick at the door.

"Shit!" she shouted, throwing a punch at the door when it wouldn't budge.

She then slumped down, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs, hiding her face.

"Emma."

"What."

"Come here."

She shook her head.

"Look, if I could, I'd come over to you, but I can't really move. So do me a favour, sweetheart, and just come and sit here."

After a few moments, she got up and walked over to him. She sat down next to him.

"How old are you?"

Emma sniffed. "Seventeen."

Dean cringed. "How the hell did you end up here?"

"I.. I was just walking my dog at night, and I was about to go home, but I rounded a corner and.." she paused.

"And what?"

"And I just.. I saw this guy.. attacking someone's neck. Like, seriously  _attacking_  it. There was blood everywhere and I didn't know what I was seeing so I screamed before I could stop myself, and then the guy looked up and came over to me and the next thing I know I'm being thrown in here," she finished with a huge breath.

Her fingers went to her forehead. "He must have hit me on the head. I can feel a huge bump here."

"Does your head still hurt?"

Emma nodded.

"You're gonna want to get that checked out when we get out of here, Emma," Dean said tiredly, sitting up properly against the wall.

He felt just the tiniest bit better now that his arms were capable of movement again. He flexed them slightly.

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Whatever."

"Hey, don't give me that angsty teenage crap. I'm getting you out of here, you hear me? I promise," he said as firmly as he could manage.

Emma shrugged, but the corners of her mouth tilted upwards slightly. It was silent for a while.

"Dean?"

"Yeah."

"What.. what was that guy doing to the other guy's neck?"

Dean sighed, his head falling back against the wall as he closed his eyes.

"Listen, Emma, I'm really sorry to tell you this. That was a vampire. The creatures that put you in here are vampires. He was feeding on the other guy."

It was silent for a very long time.

"I am so fucked," Emma then whispered, her voice cracking.

"Emma, you listen to me. I've got a brother out there looking for me. He knows what he's doing, and he always gets me out of the most fucked up situations. He's gonna find us, okay? And maybe he'll have some angel help too.. though I doubt it," he finished mumbling, the last sentence directed to himself more than Emma.

She nodded, closing her eyes and leaning her chin on her knees. Her eyes then flew open, frowning as she turned to Dean. "Wait, did you just say angel?"

Any answer Dean was about to give was cut short when the door slammed open. Dean's hand immediately went to grab his gun, before discovering that it wasn't there. Of course not. He wasn't strong enough to put on a proper fight, either.

Still, he managed to move himself in front of Emma, shielding her as much as he could.

"Hello lovelies. How are we feeling?" Alisha's soft, syrupy voice made him shiver.

He could feel Emma tremble against him, but she didn't make a sound, glaring defiantly at the silhouette in the doorway. He felt his chest swell with pride.  _That's my girl._

Alisha walked over to them, crouching down so they were on eye-level. She completely ignored Dean, staring instead at Emma with her gorgeous, chilling blue eyes.

"What's your name, sweetie?" she asked gently.

Emma sneered at her, not saying a word.

"Let her go, Alisha. Just let her go. She doesn't know what the fuck is going on. She's only seventeen," Dean croaked, not caring how desperate he sounded.

"Shut up, Dean," Alisha said calmly. She turned back to Emma, suddenly reaching out to stroke her face. "Such a pretty little thing you are.." she then murmured.

Dean felt Emma flinch away, smacking Alisha's hand away from her face. Instead of Alisha getting angry, it had quite the opposite reaction. She smiled kindly.

"It's such a pity Alex was being so sloppy. He's recently turned, you see. He couldn't control himself from feeding out in public. If it weren't for him, you'd still be living your life right now," she said quietly.

Emma didn't reply, but Dean could feel her shrink back against the wall.

"Alisha. Please," he tried again. "Just let the poor girl go. She doesn't deserve this."

Alisha turned towards him. "You're right. She doesn't," she said slowly.

Emma seemed to let out a big breath. Dean could feel relief seeping through his bones.

"That's why this is going to be so much more fun."

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

The screams still echoed in his head, even though it had been hours. Dean felt numb, hollow. He'd never forget Emma screaming for him, sobbing for him to help her. Alisha had forced Dean to watch while the other vamps tore the poor girl apart. He had been forced to watch them suck her completely dry until she wasn't more than a drained husk. He had been forced to listen to her every plea, her every desperate sob and choke and gurgle until his throat was raw from yelling for them to stop and his ears felt like they were bleeding. By that point Emma had fallen silent.

Seventeen. She was seventeen.

She'd had a whole life ahead of her. She was supposed to grow up, find happiness, and live the life she'd always wanted. Instead of that, she had died a slow and excruciating death, with no one to hold her or save her.

Emma had counted on Dean to get her out. He'd promised. He'd failed, yet again, and Emma had had to suffer for it. Why couldn't it have been him?

It had seemed to greatly amuse Alisha when he begged for her to let him take Emma's place.

" _Don't be silly, hun. You're going to feed us for the next few days, weeks maybe. The girl's just.. a light snack."_

Afterwards, they'd apparently decided they hadn't had enough yet, and they went to feed on him again. Dean had tried to feebly fight them off at first, but Alisha just giggled and held his wrists with one hand. He couldn't muster up the will to try any harder.

After everything had done, he had spent a long time vomiting. All that came out was bile, since he hadn't eaten in who knew how long. They hadn't even bothered chaining him up again. He didn't blame them.

All Dean could do was lie there, next to a puddle of his own vomit, and tremble and shudder and bleed, Emma's screams still fresh in his mind.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback, enjoy.

It had been a week. A whole fucking week, and no sign of Dean whatsoever. He'd yelled to Castiel for help until his throat was raw, then tried Gabriel, trying and failing to not care about the fact that the archangel was ignoring him. There was nothing.  _Now_ , of all times, every single fucking angel decided to go MIA.

But now he finally had a lead.

He was currently sitting down in poor Mrs. Baker's living room, solemnly drinking his tea while Mrs. Baker told him when she had last seen her daughter.

"She was just.. just walking the dog, she does that every evening," the woman paused, blowing her nose. "Half an hour later, little Muppet was at the door, tail between her legs and shivering. Emma wasn't with her."

"I'm very sorry. We're doing everything we can to find her," Sam promised, leaning forward to pat her hand.

She gave him a brief smile before taking a huge gulp of her tea.

"Where did she go for her walk?" he asked urgently.

"Um.. I know she walked by that bar that no one goes to.. what's it called? The.. Playhouse, or something.."

Sam stiffened. "The Playpen?"

"That's the one. She always takes a route along there, and there's never any trouble. Please.. please find my little girl," Mrs. Baker ended with a small sob. "It's been four days now and there's no sign of her. Please, we're so worried."

Sam frowned sympathetically. "We'll find your daughter, Mrs. Baker."

About half an hour later, he was storming into the bar, door thudding against the wall as he threw it open. The three or four people that were sitting there (at 11 in the fucking morning) jumped up. The pretty girl dropped the glass she was holding in shock.

Sam glared at her, stomping towards her. "You," he snarled.

Desperation had made him lose any of the natural cool and rational thought he was so known for having. Dean being in danger did that to him.

She blinked at him. "Uhh.. excuse me?"

Sam reached into his coat hastily, pulling out his FBI badge and shoving it in her face. "I'm going to have to ask you some questions."

The girl faltered, her eyes widening at her badge. "FBI?" she stuttered.

"Yep," Sam snapped, gesturing for her to get a move on.

"Of.. of course, just follow me.. I had no idea you.. anyway," she mumbled, ignoring the stares of the customers and leading him through a door out back.

He was led to a small room with a couch, a couple of chairs and a table in it. She sat down on one end of the couch, and he grabbed a chair and set it opposite her, sitting down on it.

"I was here a couple days ago, asking about my brother," Sam started, his voice a sharp growl.

The girl visibly flinched. "Um, yeah. I .. I remember that. Is.. is this about him?"

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Yes, it is. It's also about a young girl called Emma Baker. That ring any bells?"

The girl nodded. "I know her mother. I've never actually met the girl. What's going on?"

"What's your name?"

"Shannon."

"Right. Shannon, you're gonna answer all of my questions truthfully or you're gonna be in a shitload of trouble," he threatened.

Shannon nodded.

So far, there was nothing suspicious about her. She was reacting exactly like any bewildered young woman would when being bellowed at by a huge, intimidating man. Except Sam had been a hunter long enough to know the signs, and he wasn't quite done looking for them yet. It was too early to determine her innocence or guilt. Well, he was Sam Winchester.

"You said you know her mother. How do you know her exactly?"

Shannon frowned. "Uh.. I used to walk her dog, back when I wasn't working here. I put up an ad and she called me a few days later. She's really nice."

Sam watched her actions carefully, every twitch of her fingers, every facial expression. It had to be her. She just had to slip up so he could be sure.

"How long ago was this?"

"About.. say, two or three years ago."

"Okay. What exactly were you doing on Monday night when Emma Baker disappeared?"

"Well, I was here."

"What were you doing here exactly?"

Shannon raised an eyebrow. "Um. My job."

Sam sneered. "Cute. You got anyone who can prove you were here the entire night?"

Shannon swallowed. "Yeah, uh.. Jake. He was here as well. He's not here at the moment, though. You'll have to come back tomorrow."

Sam looked at her for a long time. She looked back, bewildered. Finally, he sighed. There was nothing weird going on with this girl. He'd have to speak to Mrs. Baker again to confirm the fact that she knew Shannon, but he didn't really doubt it. He couldn't see anything weird about her. Except..

They'd been on a vampire hunt before Dean disappeared. This was where they had come first.

"All right. Um, listen, this may seem like a weird question, but it's just because of the recent evidence, and we have to be very thorough," he started slowly.

Shannon raised her eyebrows. "Okay?"

"Right, listen.. I'm gonna need you to open your mouth for me."

She stared at him. "Open.. my mouth?"

Sam nodded. "And show your teeth."

"But..  _why_?"

"Look, like I said, I know it's a weird – "

Sam's sentence was interrupted by a sharp pain in his temple. He grunted, and before he could even think about fighting back, his head exploded with even more pain, sharper this time and he fell to the ground, his vision clouding.

The last thing he saw before everything turned dark was Shannon standing over him, her face expressionless.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

They used to have a lot of nightmares. Not that John knew, and if he did, he had apparently decided it wasn't serious enough and hadn't done anything about it.

Whenever Sammy had had a bad dream and he was old enough to walk, he'd silently make his way to Dean's bed. He'd poke his cheek with tiny, trembling fingers and whisper his older brother's name.

Dean would wake up, and as soon as he saw his little brother standing by his bed, lower lip quivering, he'd move over and pull some of the blankets away.

Sam would sniff quietly and climb into bed with him, and Dean would snugly wrap the blankets around them both. Sam would cling to Dean tightly, hiding his face in his neck while Dean rubbed his back and whispered, "It's okay, Sammy. It's gonna be okay."

There was no one to comfort Dean when he had nightmares. He couldn't go to John for obvious reasons. He wasn't going to wake up his baby brother just 'cause he'd had some bad dreams. Sam had had enough of his own without Dean's to worry about.

So he would just lie there all night, his head bursting with images of fire and screams and blonde hair and monsters and blood.

This was all just another nightmare. Any moment, he'd open his eyes and Sam would be lying a few feet away from him, snoring softly. Cas would – well, he had no idea where Cas would be. It didn't really matter. All that mattered was that none of this was real, and he'd be freed from this horrible dream very soon.

He could feel it already. Something tugging at the back of his mind, something like relief, freedom. He tried to reach out to it, but to his frustration, something was holding him back. Something was urging him not to let go.

Everything was pain, and blood, and agony. He was so tired.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Alisha looked at Dean with a mixture of disgust and amusement. He was barely even conscious anymore, the only signs of life being low moans when the vampires fed. It wouldn't be long until he was drained, and it had only taken a week. She'd hoped to go a little slower. It didn't matter.

Sam was on his way here, two of her children were taking care of that. He'd been brought outside through the tunnel running under the bar, which led to an abandoned parking lot, as she returned to her customers, assuring everyone that she was all right and telling them the FBI agent had left through the back door. She'd decided it was too risky to be present while Sam was being transported, in case he woke up. The man was the size of a car and there was no doubt she was the first one he would try to attack.

Alisha would make him watch how Dean was drained of his last few drops of blood. She'd make Dean open his eyes and see his little brother there with him, trapped. He would die knowing that he had not only failed himself, but Sam also.

And then she'd suck Sam dry. Or... better yet, she could turn him. Now  _that_ would be the ultimate torture.

Alisha smiled to herself, sending her children away with a snap of her fingers.

"Oh, Dean," she sighed, kneeling next to his head and smoothing his hair away from his face. "You really are pathetic."

Dean didn't respond, unsurprisingly. She leaned forward, her lips brushing his ear.

"Sammy's coming to visit, you know," she whispered.

She leaned back again to see Dean's eyes twitch at the mention of his brother's name.

"That's right. He's coming here. I've caught him, and he was trying to save you, Dean. Really, are you boys even trying?"

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

The first thing Sam realised when he came to was that he was gagged and his wrists and ankles were bound. The second thing was that he appeared to be in the back of some van, judging by the noise and the way he was being thrown about. His head was throbbing. He groaned, wanting to punch himself for his own stupidity. How the fuck could he let this happen?

Sam moved his wrists about, trying to see if he could wrestle himself loose, but they were bound too tightly and too expertly. They seemed to go over an exceptionally large bump, and he grunted as he got thrown up in the air and back down into a corner.

He closed his eyes as a last, desperate attempt.

" _Cas, if there's any chance you're listening, which I doubt, please come help. I've been kidnapped by some vamps. I've no idea where we are so I can't give you a location. I.. don't even know why I'm doing this.._ " Sam ended, a muffled groan leaving his mouth.

He wriggled about, his fingers searching for any kind of sharp object lying around, when suddenly, the van screeched to a halt.

Sam's heart sunk.  _Shit._

There was a shout, and then another, and then Sam had to close his eyes because everything was engulfed by white light.

Could it be..?

The light he could see behind his closed eyelids dulled down, and he opened his eyes again, looking around wildly.

He cursed – well, it was more a "Mmph! – when the back doors of the van were thrown open.

A pair of wide, clear blue eyes met his.

"Sam."

Castiel snapped his fingers, and Sam was unbound and the piece of cloth was removed from his mouth. "The vampires were easy enough to find, despite the engraving on your ribs."

" _Cas_!" Sam yelled, jumping out of the van.

Cas looked at him, and gave him a small, tight smile. Sam shook his head, and let out an incredulous laugh. Then he punched Cas in the face with all his might.

"FUCK!"

"Sam, I thought you knew by now that that's not a clever thing to do."

"Shit! Fucking hell! Ugh, Jesus!"

"Let me fix that."

Sam pulled his hand away. "Where the fuck have you been?!"

Cas' face fell.

"How could you just leave like that?! How could you leave  _Dean_  like that! He's been missing for fucking days, Cas!"

"Sam, let me explain – "

"I prayed myself hoarse to you. You and that fucker Gabriel. Dean might be fucking dead by now."

"Sam! Listen to me – "

Sam neared Cas and shoved him with his good hand, all the desperation and anger of the past week rising up. Cas stepped back, probably more for Sam's benefit. Sam drew out his fist and punched him again.

"Ouch, shit!"

"Damn it, Sam, don't you learn – "

"I don't care how many bones I break, it's less than you deserve, you son of a bitch – "

"SAM!"

Castiel reached out and grabbed Sam's hands, healing them while he did. He glared at the youngest Winchester.

"Shut up and listen!" he snapped.

Sam glared at him, but kept his mouth shut. Cas slowly lowered their hands and drew his up, showing him that he wasn't going to touch him again.

"Look. A couple of hours after Dean and I.. after we reconciled, I found myself dragged away from the room. I found myself dragged away from Earth. I had no choice – nor did Gabriel. We were plunged right back into battle. Our brothers and sisters summoned us. A rebel group had formed among us. They were.. corrupt. They wanted to kill you and Dean. They had decided that with you two gone, a lot of our problems would be solved. I had to stop them, Sam."

Sam looked down at Cas, tight-lipped.

"You would be dead by now if we hadn't gone," Cas said firmly.

"So.. what happened?"

Cas turned away. "They've been taken care of."

Sam stared at him for a few moments. "And you couldn't let us know that? Just – I don't know – leave a note or whatever? To Dean, at least?"

Castiel hung his head. "I tried. The rebel group had captured me. I was their prisoner for days. They took my grace."

Sam did a double-take. "What!"

"Don't worry, Gabriel found me before they could kill me. He restored my grace. How else could I have smote those vampires?"

Sam nodded, noticing Cas looked incredibly tired. "Right. Speaking of which, where is Gabe?"

"He's still in Heaven. He's coming down as soon as he can."

"Okay. Uh.. sorry about the whole.. punching thing."

"Don't worry about it."

"We need to find Dean, Cas."

"I know where to start."

"Wait – why can't you just look for the place with your angel mojo?"

Cas' brow furrowed. "They know I'm here. They've obviously warded the entire location with sigils to keep it hidden from me."

"Damn it."

Cas nodded and reached out two fingers, placing them on Sam's forehead. The next moment, they were in the Playpen.

Sam heard a surprised "Shit."

He and Cas turned around to the bar, seeing the bartender freeze.

"You're supposed to be with Alisha," he mumbled, staring at Sam.

"Surprise," Sam sneered. "Where the fuck is that, exactly?"

"Bite me," the bartender growled, recovering quickly and curling back his lips to reveal his sharp teeth. "Or better yet, let me do the biting."

Cas snapped his fingers, closing all windows and doors, and simultaneously killing every occupant of the place.

"All vampires," he said as Sam was about to object. He turned to the bartender, who was staring at Cas with wide, scared eyes.

"I strongly suggest you start talking," Cas said quietly, his eyes boring into the vampire before him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback, enjoy!

"Where the fuck is Sam Winchester?" Alisha snarled at the poor vampire standing before her.

"I.. I don't know, they were supposed to be here by now.."

"Phone them!"

"We've already tried multiple times, no one's picking up!"

"Well, phone them again! He'd better be here within the next five minutes, or there'll be hell to pay."

With those words, she turned away, going back to the basement where Dean was currently using up his last breaths. It didn't matter. The bastard was pretty much dead by now anyway.

She crouched over him, hearing his barely-there pulse stutter and halt.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"What the fuck are you waiting for?!" Sam barked. "Come on!"

Castiel glared at him. "Scratch the sigils off, Sam. I can't come in with these warding signs."

Sam grunted in frustration and pulled out his knife, staring at the symbols covering the wall. "All of them?!"

Cas turned around, staring at the sigils. He then shook his head, pointing at a small, intricate yet inconspicuous symbol. "That one."

The youngest Winchester didn't waste any more time, scraping his knife along the paint of the sigil. Once there was a crack in the paint, Cas breathed out. They nodded grimly at each other before entering the building.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

A scream rang through the entire building. Alisha paused, her eyes going up to the ceiling. Another scream, and another. And then her ears were filled with the anguished screams of her dying children.

"Interesting," she murmured.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Castiel was a soldier. A ruthless fighter. Sam sometimes forgot about that. But seeing him mercilessly, viciously, kill anything that stood in his way was a sharp reminder. Sam hacked and slashed his way through the crowd of vamps, which only seemed to be becoming thicker. No doubt there were all calling up their cronies to come help them.

He couldn't spot Shannon, though. Or rather, as the vampire at the bar had corrected, Alisha. There had to be another –

Sam smacked against the wall with a groan. He could feel blood running down his neck, and suddenly about six vampires were latching onto him.

"Sam!"

Cas swiftly roasted a vamp's head from the inside out, making his way to where Sam was struggling to fight off a number of the creatures. The constant fear of Dean being on his deathbed nagged at his thoughts as he killed another vampire that got in the way.

He was stopped by a heavy hand on his shoulder. He jerked around to meet a pair of familiar warm eyes.

"I'll take care of it, little brother. Go."

Cas squeezed Gabriel's hand on his shoulder briefly before turning to the nearest door, not bothering to open it and instead blowing it up, its wooden shards flying all over the place.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

It was chaos. Complete and utter chaos up there, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. A tiny part of her mind latched onto the hope that maybe they wouldn't find her here, but she didn't fool herself into believing it.

Alisha sighed. This really wasn't the way she'd been planning to go. Well, now she knew that at least one of the Winchester brothers was competent. She glanced at Dean from where she was crouched. It was too late anyway. She'd get this small victory, even in death.

Dean was going down with her.

A loud crashing noise, too close for comfort, made her blink and stand up, straightening her clothes and brushing the dirt from them.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Cas flew down the stairs, dust rising up from the ground as he landed. The first thing he noticed was the smell. The smell of blood, thick and warm and nauseating. And the smell of death. Bitter, cold, stifling.

The second thing he noticed was Dean. Or rather, what was left of him. His body was almost unrecognisable splatter of colours, covered in purple or black bite-marks, blue and black and yellow bruises blooming all over his body and face. Almost every inch of his body had red splatters or red gashes or red streaks of blood, his hair matted with the stuff.

As Cas took all this in, he felt his stomach drop, his heart sink, his breath turn into fire in his chest. There was only one word going through his head, repeating itself over and over.

_No._

"Well, hello there."

A silky voice came from behind him. He'd been so engrossed in Dean he hadn't even noticed he wasn't alone. He whipped around, staring at the woman before him.

"Go on, kill me. It's too late anyway," she said with a breathless, bitter smile.

Cas couldn't breathe. He couldn't think, he couldn't speak. All he could do was grab a handful of this woman's hair, bashing her head against the wall. He heard her skull crack, and he grabbed her face with both shaking hands. He dropped her when her eyes melted and flames shot out of the sockets, her head quite literally on fire from the inside.

He was at Dean's side within a heartbeat, falling down on his knees.

"Dean," he whispered, trailing a finger along his battered, unresponsive face.

It wasn't too late. It couldn't be too late.

"Dean!" he heard behind him, and heavy footsteps neared him, before coming to an abrupt halt.

"No," Sam said hoarsely. "No. Dean?" He fell to his knees as well, shaking his brother's shoulder. "Dean! Cas, do something!"

"He can't bring people back from the dead, Sam," came the quiet voice behind them.

Sam whirled around. "Then you do it! You're an archangel, Gabriel! Fix him!" he yelled, frantic.

Gabriel hung his head. "Sam, I'm so sorry."

"No! Shut the fuck up! There's nothing to be sorry about, because you're going to fix him. You're an archangel, you can do anything. Come on, do it!" the youngest Winchester snarled.

Gabriel didn't reply, his lips a thin line.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THE USE OF ANY OF YOU, THEN? YOU GREAT, ALMIGHTY ANGELS OF THE LORD, AND YOU CAN'T EVEN BRING MY BROTHER BACK!" Sam now shouted, leaping up and punching Gabriel in the face. The latter didn't flinch.

"Just.. just fuck off.. fucking.. no," he slumped down next to Dean's body, all the life having drained out of him. He ran his hands across Dean's face, smoothing away the hair from his forehead and wiping away some of the dried blood.

"You can't do this, Dean. You need to stop doing this," he murmured, tears now finally running down his cheeks.

All the while, Cas hadn't moved a muscle, his hand clenching Dean's lifeless one. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening.

He felt numb. He just.. couldn't move. All he could do was stare at Dean, and cry silently, and tremble, and probably puke up his guts in a minute.

For the first time ever, Gabriel was completely silent. He also crouched down next to them, staring at Dean with sad, tired eyes. Sam leaned forward, tears spilling out over Dean's face as he rested his forehead against his brother's.

He was speaking again, but Cas wasn't listening. He couldn't. He barely even felt the sudden, hard clench of a hand on his shoulder.

"Holy shit!"

That did catch their attention. They both turned towards Gabriel slowly.

Sam spoke first, his voice dull. "What the fuck is it, Gabriel."

"No, holy shit. Holy shit! Listen to me!" Gabriel was practically bouncing now.

They were paying proper attention now. "What?" Cas said, his voice a rough growl.

"The fucking bond, Cas!"

It was silent for a moment. "Holy shit."

"Oh my god!" Sam yelled. "Go on, Cas! Do it!"

Cas wasted no time in tearing off his shirt, throwing it in the corner of the dark room. He grabbed Dean's hand and rested it against his heart, resting his own hand on the scar on Dean's shoulder. He turned around in a last minute warning to tell Sam to close his eyes, but Gabriel had it covered, turning Sam's head away.

He uncloaked his wings.

The entire room lit up, the air around him vibrating with the energy radiating from him. He could feel the ground shake, he could feel the electric currents of pure power coming from his wings.

Cas took a deep breath, and directed all that power into Dean through his hand on the other man's arm. He sucked out all the white energy from his veins, sending it all straight to the man lying before him. The man who just now had taken a small breath.

Castiel grit his teeth and  _shoved,_ forcing the power to take over Dean's veins and muscles and heart, especially his heart. The hand-print was now lit up, and Cas was shaking from the effort.

Dean shuddered underneath him, and Cas pushed even harder.

And then it happened. Dean opened his eyes. They met Cas' briefly, before going to the huge wings behind Cas' back.

And Dean shuddered again, and Cas almost collapsed because he could suddenly feel him reaching out. He could feel Dean embrace the energy Cas was sending him, sending back his own modest, gentle bolts of exhausted, barely-there energy.

Their souls wrapped around each other, accepting everything the other had to offer and more. There was so much light, so much pure, pure light. Cas forgot who he was. He forgot what he was, where he was.

All he knew was Dean, Dean's soul, Dean's energy, Dean's mind, heart. Dean's everything.

He was going to burst, he was going to explode into a wave of white light, in a million stars and he never wanted anything more in his life –

And he was gone.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm afraid this is the end, guys! Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos, I really appreciate it! I'll be back as soon as possible with a brand new fic. Until then, cheers!

When Dean woke up, the first thing that registered was that his head hurt like a motherfucker. He groaned, trying to move. His limbs felt as heavy as lead.

"Dean?"

At the soft, hopeful voice he opened an eye. "Sammy."

"Dean!" Sam laughed, leaning down and wrapping his brother in a hug.

"Woah - easy there, tiger," Dean grunted, wincing at his aching body.

"Sorry," Sam grinned at him. Dean rolled his eyes and smiled back.

"I've missed you, man," Sam said, still grinning like a madman.

"Yeah, I've missed you too, Sammy. Where am I? What.. what happened?"

Sam's face fell slightly. "We're back at the motel, Dean. What do you remember?"

"I remember that bitch Alisha. I remember being stuck in that horrible room.. I remember Emma.."

"Wait, wait. Emma? Emma Baker?"

"I don't know what the fuck her last name was," Dean answered bitterly.

Sam's jaw was set. "Dean.. what happened to her?"

His brother just shook his head and looked away. There was a moment of silence as they both composed themselves.

"There's nothing you could have done, Dean," Sam then said quietly, immediately guessing his brother's thoughts.

"How the hell did you find me? How did we get out?" Dean asked, completely ignoring Sam's last comment.

The latter sighed, telling himself that they would discuss it later. "Well, I looked for days. I had no idea where you were, it was like you'd disappeared from the face of the fucking earth."

Dean frowned. "And..?"

"And then.." Sam leaned back, handing Dean a glass of water to drink. "Then Cas visited."

Dean spat out the mouthful of water he'd just sipped. "Cas?"

"Yeah. I was actually captured by some of Alisha's vamps, and they were bringing me to you, I think. In hindsight we should have just stayed in the van and let the vamps live until we'd reached you, actually. Woah, now that I think of it, we would have saved so much time -"

"Sam, focus! What happened next?" Dean snapped.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. So, anyway, suddenly the van stops. And there's this bright light and the vamps are screaming, and I'm just thinking, 'no fucking way' because I'd been praying to him for fucking days without reply. But then he came round back and he was all 'Sam'," Sam said, his voice all gravelly towards the end.

"Dude, worst Cas impression ever," Dean said, rolling his eyes and ignoring the strange warmth he felt when he said the angel's name.

"Shut up. So he untied me and shit, and I, uh, punched him. For what he'd done to you, or what we thought he'd done, and for not showing up all those days.."

"What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean 'what we thought he'd done'?"

Sam looked at him. "It wasn't like you thought, Dean."

/

"Go and speak to him, you fucking pussy."

"Leave me alone. I'm fairly certain I'm the last person he'll want to see when he wakes up."

"Cas, stop being a little bitch. You're bonded now! It's not as if it's even possible for him to hate you," Gabriel said, rolling his eyes.

Cas looked down. "I.. I pretty much did it without his consent.. I sealed his fate while he wasn't even conscious."

"Castiel, you did it to save his life. And it wouldn't even have worked if his soul hadn't reached back to you. You know that!"

Castiel just shook his head. "This whole thing is my fault."

"Oh, for fuck's - Cas, shut the fuck up. You saved Dean, I sorta saved Sam, we're both gonna get laid tonight -"

"Uh, what?" Cas said with a start, looking at Gabriel with wide eyes.

"What?" Gabriel said innocently.

"You just.."

"What?"

"You and Sam -"

"Huh?"

"Gabriel -"

"Huh? What?"

Cas glared at Gabriel. "Fine. But I think I'll be keeping my distance for a while, Gabriel. Until I'm actually summoned by one of them."

Gabriel sighed. "Bro, that is the worst thing you could do. Especially now that you're officially bonded, you know how bad it would be for you both."

"It's for the best."

"Cas, you dumb, stubborn son of a bitch -"

They both froze.

_Cas and Gabe, wherever you are, get your feathery asses down here._

Gabriel grinned at Castiel. "Dude, you so owe me 10 bucks."

"What are you talking about, we never even made a bet -"

The dick was gone.

"Damn it," Cas growled, before flying away as well.

He landed quietly in the motel room the brothers were residing in. It fell silent as the angels arrived. Cas averted his eyes to the ground, looking everywhere but at Dean's face.

"Hey," Sam said.

Cas just nodded.

"Hi there. How're you two holding up?" Gabriel asked, smoothly taking over.

"We're.. yeah. Dean, uh, just took a shower and stuff. He feels a lot better," Sam muttered.

"That's good! Oh, hey Sasquatch, I totally forgot that I needed to tell you something."

"Oh my God, yeah! Uh, absolutely. We'll just be -"

"Anywhere but here," Gabriel interjected, and he snapped his fingers. Sam and Gabriel were gone.

It was silent for a moment. Dean smiled half-heartedly. "I hope Gabriel hasn't taken him to Russia or something."

"I'm sure he hasn't," Cas replied stiffly.

"Cas."

The strange tone of Dean's voice caught his attention, and he finally turned to meet his eyes. Dean smiled at him.

"Hey, Cas," he said softly.

Cas swallowed. "Hello, Dean."

The hunter threw the covers off himself and slowly stood up from the bed. He leaned against the wall, his legs still wobbly.

"Dean, stop. You're not strong enough," Cas said, immediately rushing to his side.

He wrapped his arm around Dean's waist, holding him up slightly.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Hey, uh, Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"Thanks for saving my life. I wouldn't - I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for you."

Cas shook his head, turning away. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there before. Gabriel and I couldn't leave -"

"Chill, Sam told me everything. It's cool. I mean, it wasn't at first. I thought.. I thought you'd dumped me or something. I felt like a fourteen year old girl going through her first break up," he said with a small laugh. Neither of them bought it.

"Dean.." Cas gently sat him back down. "I just.. I understand if you never want to see me again."

Dean blinked at him. "What? Why the fuck would I want that?"

"I bonded us without your permission. I've ruined your life, Dean. You're now forever linked with me, and there's nothing you can do about it. I should have.. I couldn't.."

"Cas, shut the fuck up."

Cas blinked at him.

"Listen up. I was fully aware, okay? I mean, not at first, obviously. I was seriously dying. But.. when you started bonding with me, I.. I don't know. I knew what was happening and what I was doing. And I reached out to you, Cas. You know I did. I wanted it as badly as you did, and not only to survive," Dean spoke the last words quietly, looking down at his hands.

"So you don't.. you're not angry at me? You don't regret anything?" Castiel asked carefully, almost not believing anything Dean had just said.

"No. Fuck no. Cas, you - you saved me. And.. I'm glad you did it the way you did.. I mean, I don't know what this means to all of you, but to me it's.. important."

Cas just stared at him. And stared. Dean eventually looked up, the earlier hope in his eyes having faded.

"Okay, uh. I'm sorry. It's totally cool if all it meant to you was me not dying -"

"Dean."

"Yeah..?"

"Shut the fuck up."

With that, Cas grabbed the collar of Dean's T-shirt with both hands and pulled him forward, practically crushing their lips together. Dean made a small noise of surprise before melting into the kiss, his hands immediately going to the side of Cas' neck and roaming through his hair.

He ran his tongue along Cas' lips, teasing slightly before nipping his bottom lip gently. Cas let out a small groan and angled their heads, deepening the kiss. He licked at Dean's lips, and the latter opened his mouth with a sigh. Cas ran his tongue along Dean's mouth, feeling and tasting every single corner.

Dean took control then, pushing Castiel down onto the bed, straddling him. Cas' hands crept up inside his shirt, his nails scraping softly along his back. Dean shifted his hips and they both gasped as their crotches rubbed.

The hunter started kissing along Cas' jaw then, pausing to bite at his earlobe, causing him to squirm. He pulled at Cas' clothes.

"Off," he growled.

The next moment, they were only in their underwear. Dean couldn't help but smirk, immediately taking advantage of the situation and letting his hands stroke every inch of Cas' body.

His hands ran along Cas' chest, and the latter flinched. Dean pulled away, frowning. He froze when he saw the red handprint over the angel's heart. He looked up at Cas. The latter nodded briefly.

Dean slowly, gently, trailed his fingertips along the scar. Cas shivered.

"We match," Dean then said with a grin.

Cas rolled his eyes despite the situation. The hunter leaned forward, pressing the softest kiss Cas had ever felt to the middle of the scar. He sighed, closing his eyes as Dean continued to worship his skin. He licked, kissed, and nipped very gently around the scar until Cas was writhing underneath him.

Then he continued his path down Cas' torso, kissing and biting down the middle of his chest and down to his stomach, before he finally reached the bulge in his underwear. He pressed a kiss on top of it, and Cas moaned loudly.

Dean slowly pulled off the angel's underwear, tossing it somewhere over his shoulder. Cas was staring down at him, his eyes half-lidded as he shivered in anticipation. Dean pressed a kiss on Cas' hip, moving along to the side until he was nipping at the inside of his thighs, then going back to do the same on the other side.

" _Dean_ ," Cas growled with frustration, his voice a gravelly wreck.

Dean chuckled, pressing a last kiss on his hip before his lips finally brushed along the head.  
Cas arched up, moaning loudly. Dean licked along the length, lapping up the bead of precome leaking from the tip. Then his lips covered the head and he took Cas in his mouth.

"Oh shit shit shit.. fucking shit, fuck,  _Dean_!" Cas was blabbering on, and Dean didn't know what to think about the fact that Cas swearing so much turned him the fuck on.

He hummed and he licked and swallowed and used his hands when he couldn't reach any further with his mouth. Cas was a panting, moaning mess underneath him, his fingers threaded through his hair as he moved his hips ever so gently in time with Dean's mouth.

Dean looked up at him and felt like he was going to come there and then. Cas was gazing down at him, his cheeks flushed red and his hair matted as it stuck to his sweaty forehead. His mouth was open and words were flowing from it, be it swear words or moaned nonsense or whispered encouragement.  
His hips stuttered, and the hunter knew it wouldn't be long. He started sucking even harder, his teeth scraping ever so gently along the soft skin.

"Dean! I'm gonna - Fuck!" Cas moaned long and loud as he came, his hands gripping Dean's hair tightly.

The latter swallowed down everything, and kept sucking and licking Cas through it. When he was finally done, he rose up, kissing Cas. The angel kissed back lazily, stroking his fingers along Dean's neck. He smiled in apology for neglecting him before slowly rubbing Dean through his boxers.

"Wow, oops!"

Cas and Dean jumped up when they heard Gabriel's loud voice. The four of them stared at each other for what seemed like 5 minutes. Castiel slowly grabbed one of the pillows from the bed and brought it in front of his crotch.

Suddenly, Gabriel turned to Sam. "So that'll be.. what, three weeks?"

Sam groaned. "Ugh, sorry Dean. We're leaving."

"No, hang on, it's fine. Just let us.. get decent," Dean said awkwardly.

Cas snapped his fingers and they were both fully clothed again, thank God.

"Right. Great," Sam mumbled, scratching the back of his neck.

"I'm gonna have to thank you two. Sam didn't believe you were actually doing the horizontal tango, sayin' it was 'too soon' and that you 'needed time'. So naturally, I told him that if I was right, he'd have to wear a thong every day for the next three weeks. If I was wrong it would be the other way round. So, thank you, boys. Honestly."

Sam was now an unattractive shade of dark red. Cas smiled a little and Dean just stared at them.

"I don't know whether to laugh or cry. It's hilarious that you have to wear a thong, of course, Sammy. But now for the next three weeks, whenever I see you I'm gonna know you're wearing a fucking thong. That shit's disturbing."

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Dean. I'm not the one who had soul sex with a fucking angel, in front of both of their brothers," Sam snapped.

"Shut up, bitch!" Dean snapped, turning pink. He shoved at Sam's arm.

"Jerk," Sam retorted, shoving back.

"Oooookay, dinner time," Gabriel said, rolling his eyes. He paused, then snorted. "Heh. Soul sex."

"SHUT UP!"

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

A couple of hours later, they were at a fancy restaurant they'd only been able to go to because of Gabriel, and they were all a little past tipsy from all the expensive wines. Dean was rubbing his foot against Cas' leg and trailing his hand along his thigh, all very discreetly under the table, of course. He was pretty sure Gabriel was feeling up his brother, also under the table, but he found that he didn't mind that much.

Cas and Sam started talking about boring shit, so Dean turned to Gabriel as he suddenly realised something.

"Gabriel?"

"Yeah."

"You knew this was going to happen all along, didn't you?"

Gabriel paused, looking at Dean properly. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"What you said before, when I asked you if there could be some kind of residue or something from the, uh, almost-bond. You looked at me all strange and.. and I don't know, you were being fucking weird. You knew that Cas and I were going to end up like this, didn't you?" Dean said with narrowed eyes.

Gabriel looked at him for a few moments longer, then shrugged. "I'll admit, I had no idea about the whole rebel group or vampire thing, but I knew that  _something_  was gonna happen between you two. But I mean, come on. You'd have to be either blind or a fucking moron not to know. It was only a matter of time."

Dean looked at him, then looked at Cas. The latter felt he was being stared at, and he looked back, smiling at Dean. Dean reached over and grabbed his hand, giving it a small squeeze. He realised that in this moment, with his angel and his baby brother and his baby brother's creepy archangel admirer - he was happy.

Dean was finally, truly happy.


End file.
